History Repeats Itself
by yoosij
Summary: The story of Lily and James told through a series of flashbacks. Each chapter will start with a scene from Harry's life that reminds a bystander of Lily and James. The Harry scenes will be out of order so that the L/J scenes will be in chronological order
1. King's Cross

_Author's Note: JK Rowling owns these characters and this world! Readers, please let me know what you think of this way of telling their story! I already have two chapters completely done and more are coming pretty fully formed. I really shouldn't start another one of these when I still have two stories in progress, but this one idea has been bouncing around in my head the past couple of months, so I finally had to write it down!_

Remus Lupin waited as the Hogwarts express pulled up. Today was going to be a day full of uncomfortable situations. He would see Harry for the first time since Sirius died. The wounds were still fresh. Once again, he was the last Marauder remaining. Of course Peter was alive, but he didn't really count in Remus's eyes any longer.

He would also be confronting Lily's sister and brother-in-law. Remus had gotten a few glimpses into who Petunia was the very few times he had managed to pass by 4 Privet Drive when Harry was much younger or the visit he had with Arabella last summer to check on Harry. He had never spoken to the woman before and he was a little worried he wasn't exactly in the proper state of mind to be civil. He had heard enough stories from Lily to dislike the woman, knowing she hadn't been kind to Harry either made it worse. He agreed with Dumbledore that they should be grateful that she took Harry in when James and Lily died and every summer since he went to Hogwarts, but it barely made up for Harry's treatment. At least he would be confronting them along with Moody, Arthur, and Tonks.

Tonks… _Dora._ He had to end it. Life was too short for her to waste it with him. She deserved more. She was too young and vivacious and beautiful to be with a practically middle-aged man who was prematurely graying, unemployed, and a _werewolf_. He could tell that she knew something was wrong, something more than Sirius's death.

"Tonks," he said calmly and quietly, "Stop fidgeting." She looked up at him and he instantly regretted speaking. He had gotten into a habit of calling her Dora after the many times she had asked him not to refer to her by her first name. Tonks gave him a bit of a curt nod and then stared forward.

Remus sighed and watched as some children hurried out of the train car. For a moment he smiled as he watched Harry with his two best friends. As he watched Harry approach he was reminded of just how much Harry looked like his dad at the same age. Thinking of James sobered him up and he got ready for the task at hand, which was helping the son of two of his best friends.

Once the matter was settled and it seemed Harry's summer might be a little more enjoyable, he watched as Harry smiled and waved a hand of farewell. The familiar smile of one of Remus's friends and twinkling eyes of another made Lupin smile in return and remember their own arrival from Hogwarts after 5th year.

* * *

"What, we're supposed to take your luggage then?" Sirius bellowed as James flew out the door.

Remus smiled and said, "I thought he'ld given up. That must have been some epiphany he just had…"

James had been moody ever since Lily had told him off after OWLs were over. He would get even moodier the one time Remus had prefect duties with her since and he looked like he was going to hex someone when he walked by the two of them before getting on the train. The fact that she was making Remus promise to write this summer made James's skin crawl a little.

"Look James," Remus said calmly once they were in their compartment. "We're friends. You know that. Maybe if you would just listen to everything she's been telling you for the past few years YOU could be her friend, too. And who knows, maybe she would finally date you. She's never going to say yes when you two act like you hate each other."

James just scoffed and stared out the window for most of the trip back as the other three continued their own conversations. Then, just as the train pulled in, James suddenly lit up. "Right. That's exactly what I'll do."

Sirius looked over and asked, "Uh… do what Prongs?"

James was smiling, and Remus was suddenly a little worried. "It'll be easy. I'm such a dolt! Why didn't I think of it before?" He jumped up as the train stopped and made his way for the door.

"What are you talking about, mate?" Sirius asked, jumping out of the way.

"It'll work," James said to three other boys. He then looked out the compartment window and said more to himself than the others, "I just have to find her…"

When he launched himself out of the compartment Sirius yelled after him, "What, we're supposed to take your luggage then?"

By the time Remus, Sirius, and Peter had made it out of the train James was just catching up to Lily. She had been a couple of cars behind them, and when she got out she was closer to the King's Cross exit.

"Hey, Evans! Evans!" James yelled as he ran up to her.

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "Not now, Potter. I just want to get home. As always, the answer is NO."

James's smile was still plastered on his face. "I'm not asking you out," he said matter-of-factly, and she raised her eyebrow. "I just wanted to say… uh… have a good summer and good luck with OWLs. I'm… I'm sure you did brilliantly." She stared at him dumbfounded. "Well, that was all… actually, so… See you around, Evans." James silently chastised himself as he walked off. It was all well and good that he was going to try to be nicer and more mature and that he wouldn't ask her out anymore, but it would have helped if he had actually planned on what he was going to say.

Lily continued to stare at him as he walked off to rejoin his friends. She didn't understand why he had to be so…. him. He drove her absolutely batty. He could have potential if he wasn't such an arrogant ass. She rolled her eyes, shook her head, and continued to make her way to her parents.

"Daddy!" she squealed as she ran into her dad's arms and gave him a big hug. "Mum!" she exclaimed as she moved to hug her mother.

"Lily-pad! I'm glad you're home, dear. I'm thinking of writing to that headmaster of yours and telling him school lasts far too long," her mother said with a smile.

"I told her to wait until after you get your test scores back," her dad said with a twinkle in his eye, grabbing her trunk.

Lily laughed and said as she began walking with them, "I'm so nervous! I feel I did well but you just never can tell with those things and… why are you stopping?"

Her mother's lips thinned and she said, "Well, we're waiting for Severus. He's riding with us home."

"But mum!" Lily protested. "Didn't you get my letter? I can't even look at him. He's… he's one of them now."

Mrs. Evans sighed and said, "Lily, I understand but I already promised Eileen. Tobias was laid off and she's working extra… wherever it is that she's working. The past few months have been very hard for her, I think. You don't even have to talk to him and believe me, it will be hard for me to be civil, but we can't punish Eileen for Severus's comments."

Lily sighed as her father called Severus over. "We're taking you home, Severus. Can you handle your trunk?" Mr. Evans asked in a forced civil tone.

"Yes," Severus said coolly.

"Good," Lily said abruptly. "Let's go then."

Remus watched as James scowled. He had gone from smiling as he ran out the train to scowling as soon as he walked off from Lily. He said that she didn't tell him off, but Remus didn't know what else could have put him in such a sour mood.

"I can't believe she has to ride home with Snivellus. And she said I was worse than him! I don't know what she saw in him…" James ranted.

"They've never dated. They're just childhood friends. Or were. Get over it. She probably just pitied him. You know Lily Evans. She's practically a saint sometimes," Sirius said, annoyed that a conversation on Lily Evans and Severus Snape had started again.

"She's more mischievous than you give her credit for, Padfoot," Remus said with a knowing smile. He knew that she and her friends had pulled pranks in their own time. He even knew that she thought that some of the Marauder's pranks that weren't on completely "innocent" victims were quite funny. He thought she mostly had the same sense of humor as them, she just knew where to draw the line.

"Argh," James groaned at Remus's comment. "Don't tell me that. It just makes her hotter."

Remus laughed and said, "Sorry mate." Just as he watched as one friend lost his smile, he watched as another lost a twinkle in her eye as she looked dully ahead walking mere feet from an ex-best friend. His thoughts were interrupted as Peter was the first who needed to go, his parents were there and ready for a family dinner. Remus smiled again and returned to saying farewells to his friends. He watched Sirius's retreating backside as he walked with James and James turn to give a farewell wave with the smile returned to his face as they followed the Potters out of King's cross.


	2. A Lingering Smile

Minerva McGonagall walked up the aisle of the Great Hall to the head table. She smiled as she passed the Gryffindor table and watched as the small group already at dinner, clad in their Quidditch practice uniforms, were talking very excitedly about the game on Saturday. As she sat next to Dumbledore she said, "I think Gryffindor will win this weekend." She glanced over to Severus and said with a smile, "I do believe we might win the cup for the third year in a row, excluding the year of the Tri-Wizard tournament, of course." Severus huffed and continued eating.

There was a twinkle in Dumbledore's eye as he looked over to the Gryffindor players eating together. "The team did seem to … bond… rather nicely this year," he said with a knowing grin.

Minerva raised an eyebrow and looked over to the players. The students were in much cheerful spirits than they had been earlier in the year. She noticed that Lavender Brown was no longer sitting with the group, and Hermione Granger was sitting next to Ron Weasley for the first time in Merlin knows how long. Harry Potter was sitting across from Ron and next to Ginny Weasley, and Minerva was just now noticing that Dean Thomas was no longer by her side at meals. Neville had just walked up to join them, sitting on the other side of Harry.

"Yes, well, they have always been fairly close, haven't they? And Miss Weasley befriended them even more last year, correct?" she asked, wondering what Albus was alluding to.

He smiled and said, "It is amazing how Harry Potter is a complete mixture of his parents in looks and personality. Although, I think there's something else he has in common with his father than his looks, the Quidditch, and his knack of getting into trouble." Snape huffed and Dumbledore just continued to smile. "What do you think, Minerva?"

She watched the group and suddenly noticed the smug look on Miss Granger's face and what she was watching. Minerva then looked at the pair sitting across from Miss Granger and smiled. Miss Weasley had just told a joke that the group laughed at, but Mr. Potter's smile lingered longest. Albus was right. It looked as if Harry had something else in common with his father, because Minerva definitely remembered seeing the look on Harry's face before.

* * *

"Bullocks," Lily said as she entered the Great Hall and made it halfway down the Gryffindor table before realizing the rest of her friends weren't there.

"Is that the pristine Miss Evans who just cursed?" asked Sirius Black. She rolled her eyes. She would give him even less time of day if it weren't for the fact that she had a suspicion that Marlene fancied him.

"Shut up, Sirius. What's up, Lily?" Remus asked and Lily relaxed. She still didn't completely understand why Remus was such good friends with them. He seemed too grown up for them.

"Nothing, I guess I'm just early for dinner, or my friends are all late," she said with a sigh. She was nothing if not punctual.

"You can sit with us until they get here," James quickly said. The whole group turned to look at them and Lily did not look warm to that idea at all. He raised his hands in the air and said, "Hey, you don't have to sit near me. You can sit next to Remus. It's a damn shame though, you'll be missing out." There was that cockiness she hadn't seen very much of this past term. However, his grin was more joking then smug.

Lily looked to the door and didn't see her friends yet, and she glanced over to the Slytherin table where Severus was watching her. She then looked back to James with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk and said, "All right, thanks." She sat next to Remus, the farthest seat from James, and the boys looked mildly surprised. Sirius didn't look too happy about it. He never understood Lily's appeal to James, other than her looks.

At first Lily felt a bit uncomfortable sitting with them. The only one she had ever gotten to know was Remus and, to a small extent, Peter. She and Remus were in a middle of a conversation about some of their NEWTs classes when Sirius got sick of watching James continually glancing at Lily.

"So, what are you up to this term, Evans? Since we know you're not dating our dear friend James over here," Sirius said with his most charming smile. James promptly stomped on Sirius's foot, hard.

"Um…I suppose just school, hanging with my friends, Slug Club, and Charms club," she said with a shrug. "Oh, and prefect duty, of course." She smiled at Remus and it made James feel sick.

"Sounds as boring as James over here," Sirius muttered. This time James stomped on Sirius's foot while Remus kicked Sirius.

Lily looked confused at the grimacing Sirius when Peter said, "S-so, um, what do you want do after Hogwarts? Um, you know, with your NEWTs?"

James was relieved that Peter stepped up and Lily said, "Well, I was thinking of becoming an Unspeakable."

"Why? Because you have that stony façade down?" Sirius muttered, this time bringing his legs up so he couldn't be assaulted. Instead James elbowed him.

Lily was ready to stand up then and find somewhere else to sit when Remus placed his hand on her forearm. "Forget him," he said and Lily nodded and looked back to the group_. Fine. Black wants to play it that way? I'll show him it doesn't bother me. I'll show him I can banter right back._ "No. Because I like charmwork, and I like figuring things out that just… don't make sense. I'm very good at keeping secrets and I want to help with the upcoming war. Why? What do plan on doing? Always having a room on reserve in Hog's Head and in Azkaban?" James snorted both at her comment and the feigned innocent look on her face, Remus tried to cover laughter by taking a very large gulp of his pumpkin juice, and Sirius looked unamused.

Peter looked very nervous all of a sudden, though. "Y-you really think there is going to be a war?" he stammered.

"Of course," Lily and James both said matter-of-factly. They glanced at each other when they realized they said it at the same time.

"All the more reason to have fun until that fateful day comes. Speaking of which, did you see McLaggen after Transfiguration? Priceless," Sirius said, his joyful spirit returning.

Lily looked at them shocked and James was about ready to hit Sirius again. She then smiled, looking mildly impressed, and said, "That was you? That was brilliant!"

James smirked and said, "I thought you didn't like when we pranked people, or is it only ok because he's what, your ex, isn't he?"

Lily smirked back and said, "As if you really don't know that he's my ex." James shrugged and she laughed. Remus smiled down at his food at the interaction. "They're fine if they're deserved, I suppose. He did steal your girlfriend, didn't he?"

James looked at her dumbstruck until he realized that she was talking about him dating one of his exes, Annette.

"I wouldn't say steal. Dear James had let that one go earlier that day," Sirius said as James regained himself. James chose McLaggen for them to prank more for the way he saw McLaggen looking at Lily earlier that day than for the fact that he was currently dating Annette.

Up at the head's table, Dumbledore was smiling with a twinkle in his eye. "Minerva," he said as he took his goblet, "Have you noticed that Mr. Potter hasn't had a detention yet this term?"

Minerva looked over to James Potter and said, "I have. Although I think that incident with Mr. McLaggen earlier had to do with those boys- Is that Lily Evans sitting with them?" She could have nearly choked on her roast at the sight.

Dumbledore gave a bit of a knowing nod and said, "I don't know what is Mr. Potter's sudden good influence, but I hope he keeps it. Hmm…" Minerva looked to Albus, wondering what he was cooking up in his head, and then looked back at the five Gryffindors. Lily Evans was talking very animatedly to Remus Lupin, and James Potter kept glancing her, a smile lingering on his face.

Minerva watched as Lily's friends came up to her table and as Lily stood up to rejoin them. She watched as Lily stopped as she passed James. It looked as if he said something that startled her.

"Excuse me?" Lily said, looking dumbstruck once again.

"I said congrats on your OWLs. From what I hear… you got the most out of our house," he said, his smug smile returning when he noticed the look on her face. He then returned to the conversation with his friends.

Lily was surprised for many reasons. It always annoyed her that Potter could do well on his exams without really trying, while she studied hard. When he did try, he often beat her on the exams. She knew he tried on OWLs. They weren't like finals, they determined whether or not you could have the career you wanted. She had been surprised when she saw him in the library several times in the weeks before the examinations. The fact that Potter congratulated her was surprising enough, but the fact that he said she had the most out of their house meant she beat him. She beat him and he congratulated her for it.

"Erm, thank you," she said, before turning away and following Marlene and Josephine. Behind her, James was still smiling.

"See?" Remus said to Sirius. He was referring to the fact that Lily did have a sense of humor.

Sirius rolled his eyes and said, "Maybe she doesn't always have a stick up her arse."

James scowled at Sirius, and the group moved on to talking about the next Quidditch match.


	3. The Cleverest Witch

Remus stared at Hermione Granger, mildly impressed. He should probably be nervous or scared. After all, she had just told Harry and Ron that he was a werewolf. "You're the cleverest witch of your age I've ever met, Hermione," he said. A slight pang went through him as he said it.

"I'm not keeping anything from you Lily!" Remus said as Lily walked briskly away from him. "Or at least nothing that really affects you."

She rounded on him quickly. "Ah hah! So you admit it! You have a secret. Why didn't you just tell me, Remus? Do you not trust me? I know that story about your mum is bullocks. There's only two possible reasons that explain it all and really… one of them is just ridiculous," she said, her arms crossing and her eyes narrowing.

Remus sighed and said, "Try me." She stared at him for a moment before grabbing his hand and leading him into a more private corridor.

She then stopped and crossed her arms again. "Well, either the four have you been sneaking off every month for years now to wreak havoc and skive off from your prefect duties and homework or… or you're a werewolf and they go join you, or something," she said, coolly.

Remus laughed and said, "A werewolf? Really, Lily?" Lily noted that his laugh sounded nervous, however. "And why would you think that?"

"Well, you're gone every month during the full moon and you always come back looking sickly and banged up. Your story is so vague. I didn't realize it was the full moon until last year when I covered your prefect duties. It… it makes sense though," she said, but then she sighed and said, "And at the same time it doesn't at all. I know it's completely ridiculous and-" she watched his face and said, "Oh, Merlin. That's it? Isn't it?"

He couldn't lie to her. She trusted him, and she had been covering him for a year and a half. He looked down and said, "Yes."

She froze. Her best male friend was a werewolf. Her former best male friend was a Death Eater. Did she just attract dangerous men? She just couldn't believe it. "You're… you're taking the mickey out of me, aren't you?"

He looked up at her with a pained expression and she knew that it was true. She was suddenly very scared of him, and then she was mad at herself for being scared of him. "I understand if it scares you," he said. "I'm sure we could figure out a way of splitting prefect duties more so I won't be around-"

She shook her head and felt guilty for allowing him to see the fear. "When?" was all she asked.

He shuffled his feet and said, "I was five. He was mad at my dad." He rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Dumbledore let me come here, I just go to the Shrieking Shack during transformations. The Whomping Willow keeps others from getting in."

Lily suddenly began tearing up. He was so young when it happened. "Oh, Remus," she said, before enveloping him in a hug. She was telling herself that he was safe. He went away from transformations… so he was completely safe. Of course, that then reminded her of the other boys. She pulled away and said, "Do they go with you? That's so dangerous, Remus! That is the stupidest thing I've-"

A bitter smile crossed his face and he said, "No, they can't get hurt."

The crossed arms returned as she said, "I know they sneak out, too. I'm not stupid or blind, Remus."

Remus began shuffling his feet and said, "You… you can't tell a soul."

She grew concerned as she said, "Of course not."

He chewed on his lip before saying, "They're animagi, Lily. They can't get hurt."

"What?" she asked with a gasp. "But… how? That is serious advanced magic. The Ministry couldn't possibly… they're illegal aren't they?"

"That's why you can't tell a soul," he said, looking worried.

She nodded and said, "Right… right. You four really know how to play on the line of expulsion, don't you?" Remus only smiled and so she asked, "So they broke the law to become Animagi so that you wouldn't be alone?"

Remus nodded and Lily at first couldn't figure out why she felt guilty. Then she realized it was because she had been so judgmental of Sirius and James for years now, and not only did they stay being Remus's friend after they found out, but they tried dangerous magic in order for him not to be alone. It was one of the sweetest and most loyal things she had ever heard.

"What are they?" she asked.

"Well, Peter's a rat, Sirius is a dog, and James is a stag," he said. He could have died from shock when she saw a smirk appear on her face.

"Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs. It all makes sense, now. And all of those pranks done by the "Marauders" were definitely you four, then," she said.

Remus looked sheepish as he said, "Er, yeah. Probably shouldn't have told you their animagi forms."

She smiled and said, "I promised I wouldn't tell anyone. It gives me practice for when I'm an Unspeakable."

He smiled and nodded, and she could tell he was still a little stressed over her now knowing. "Remus, you're the same person. I… I still need to process all of this, but I don't think I care, not really. You're not any different than you were fifteen minutes ago," she said, and she watched as his smile looked less forced.

"So how long have you been wondering if I was a werewolf?" he asked, walking down the corridor as a cue that they could leave now and get back to their prefect rounds.

She shrugged and said, "Early last year."

He smiled at how she had figured it out on her own, and how she figured out the rest about the Marauders with little prompting. "You know, you really are the cleverest witch in our year," he said and she blushed. Little did he know that another witch would figure it out at a younger age.


	4. Forlorn Look

Harry knew he shouldn't watch her. She was dancing with Cedric Diggory and looking very happy about it. For a moment he felt guilty about being a bad date to Parvati, but that feeling instantly fled when Cho giggled after a spin and Hermione walked up to Harry and Ron.

Dumbledore was now waltzing with McGonagall. He glanced over to Harry sitting at the table when he should be dancing like his other friends. Dumbledore then noticed the forlorn looks which he concluded could only come from Harry watching the girl who he fancied dance with someone else, though at the moment he couldn't tell which girl was making Harry look as if someone told him Quidditch had been cancelled at Hogwarts forever. He couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"What is it Albus?" McGonagall asked, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, to be young" was all he said in response.

* * *

"I'm going to murder him," James said darkly.

"No you're not," Remus said without even looking up from his book.

"Yes, I am. Look at him. He's so _boring_. What the hell is she thinking? I mean he's a bloody Hufflepuff for Merlin's sake," James said, not even attempting to study like they were supposed to be doing.

"Nothing wrong with Hufflepuffs. You didn't listen to Dumbledore's house unity speech, did you?" Remus asked, still looking at his book.

"And you did?" James asked, still sounding annoyed.

"We all know Moony here has a thing for those Hufflepuffs," Sirius said. He wasn't studying either. He instead was winking at a gaggle of giggling girls who walked past them.

James still stewed as he watched the new couple. They were walking hand in hand and he couldn't help but snort at how just by looks you could tell they shouldn't be together. Dawlish's hair was kept almost buzz cut short, his clothes were stiff and his tie was still perfectly tied, and his face looked fairly blank. Meanwhile her long red hair was moving with the wind. It looked like fire to him. She was talking animatedly to Dawlish, making big hand gestures with her free hand and smiling as she spoke. Her shirt was untucked from her skirt and her tie was hanging around her neck. Her eyes were twinkling as she spoke. She was too full of life for him, too beautiful.

"Can you believe that, John? Slughorn was so embarrassed. I don't think he intended on smelling Amortentia himself," she said with a giggle. "So, what was yours?" she asked, wrapping her free hand around their clasped hands and looking up at him. He was so smart and serious and gorgeous. Sure, he needed to relax a tick, but he normally did when he wasn't in public. "Well, parchment, rose, and honey," he said, giving her a bit of a smile.

"Oh," she said, smiling back. She didn't think she smelled like rose or honey. She always grew up with jasmine all around her window. Her favorite smell was vanilla, and so she had some lotions and candles with that smell. "Mine was this very… outdoorsy smell. I can't describe it other than just… woody. I think there was also the smell of library books. It's so interesting, isn't it?" she asked, looking up at him again.

"Yes, very," he said, even though he didn't sound very interested. Her former free hand dangled back down at her side and she looked down in thought.

James sighed as he watched. How could Dawlish stay so stony when she had been smiling like that? How could he not want to laugh with her? He rested his head against the tree they were sitting by and took a deep breath. He could still smell that sweet smell from potions earlier. His favorite dessert, treacle tart, of course was one of the smells. The overwhelming smell was a lovely vanilla. It was the smell he smelled every time she walked by him.

Above them, Dumbledore was walking down the corridors, talking to McGonagall. "It is going to be a very dark age soon, Minerva. It has already begun," he said solemnly.

"Can the Aurors not handle it in time? Do you really think this… Voldemort… is as powerful and dark as they say, Albus?" McGonagall asked, sounding a little concerned.

Dumbledore continued to walk solemnly, hands clasped behind his back. "I have no doubt he is as serious as he says." He then walked over to the window and watched the students below. There were several groups of students sitting by the lake and the trees. Several were walking and laughing. He saw the couple holding hands. "These children are about to grow up too fast." He looked down to see the most trouble-making group he has had in a while as two of them studied, one flirted with girls, and another brooded.

"Minerva, is James Potter still staying out of trouble?" Dumbledore asked.

McGonagall walked up beside him and looked out the window. "Relatively, yes. I wish I could say the same for his friend, Black," she said with a roll of the eyes. He had received another detention for calling her Minnie in class today after she had gotten on to him for not doing the assignment.

Dumbledore smiled and said "Curious" as he watched James look forlorn after the walking couple.


	5. A Turning Point

"You let your prejudice cloud your judgment, Severus. People question my trust in you just as you questioned my trust in him. In both cases, the doubters were wrong," Dumbledore said sternly.

"You did not know Pettigrew was alive either. I was just protecting the boy as promised," Snape said, showing no remorse. "Just because Black is not who we thought he was doesn't mean he or Lupin are to be trusted."

"Sirius was sixteen, Severus. He was sixteen and wanted to teach you a lesson for trying to hurt his best friend. Both of you already had a hatred for each other. It blinded the both of you. It is inexcusable what almost happened, but it does not mean that all of these years later he cannot be trusted," Dumbledore said calmly as he took a seat at his desk. "If we judged every adult by what they did as teenagers this severely, no one could be trusted. Correct?"

Snape tugged on his left sleeve. "I suppose," he said coolly. "Is there anything else?"

Dumbledore watched him for a moment through his half-moon spectacles. "No, you may go."

Snape turned on his heel, and the moment he was out of the headmaster's office he scowled. His cloak billowed behind him as he walked briskly back to his quarters, willing himself not to look out to the Whomping Willow, willing himself not to remember the last time she called him "Sev."

* * *

Lily Potter read as she patrolled. Remus was "sick" again, and she of course agreed to cover him. He always told her to make sure she found someone to replace him, but this time everyone was busy with finals coming up. Instead John walked with her for part of the time, and the rest she read while she walked. It had been a relatively easy patrol. Everyone was too busy preparing for finals to make trouble.

That is, until she heard yelling.

"You don't know what you're getting into Snape! Just leave it be! It's your own damn fault sticking your greasy nose into other people's business!"

Lily knew that was the bellow of James Potter. She turned to see Severus walking towards her, his cloak billowing behind him. He had scratches all over him and he was paler than usual.

"This will get you Potter. You'll be expelled this time!" Severus shouted back without even looking over his shoulder.

"What's going on?" Lily asked as he approached.

"Potter's about to get kicked out once and for all. He, Black, and Lupin. That's what's going on," Severus said darkly.

"Whoah, stop," she said, grabbing him by both arms. "What happened, Severus? What are these scratches."

"Out of my way," he said, pushing past her. No one was going to get in his way of getting perfect Potter expelled.

"Severus, stop! Sev, what's wrong?" she yelled. She then rounded on James as he ran to catch up. He was limping, though, and couldn't move fast. "What did you do to him?" she yelled.

"What… what did I do to him? Look at me! I'm worse. That bloody nosy-" James said, enraged that she automatically took his side.

"I don't care right now!" she yelled, and it promptly shut him up, even though it made him madder. "What did you do to him that he's going to get you expelled? He looks like he saw a ghost!"

"No," James said firmly. "Just a werewolf."

Lily's eyes were as wide as saucers. "What? How? Is he-" she said, flabbergasted, as she looked back to Severus.

"He's fine, just scratched up a bit. He figured out that we've been sneaking off and said he was going to get us expelled. Sirius got really ticked when he realized Snive-um, Snape's been following us, so I guess he thought he would teach him a lesson by telling him how to get past the Whomping Willow…" Lily gasped and James, although a bit out of breath, continued, "Sirius told me. Merlin, he was an idiot. I got there right before Snape opened the door to the shack. I don't think Sirius really meant for him to get hurt but it… it could have been bad. "

Lily watched as a chill ran over him. She looked down, deep in thought, and said, "You should probably hurry and get to Dumbledore, then."

He stared at her for a moment, trying to read her, before he tried to run again. She watched as he limped and she was surprised that it pained her. "_Mobilicorpu__s_," she said, flicking her wand towards James. He suddenly was lifted from the ground and zoomed toward Dumbledore's office. She walked slowly behind him, wanting to be there when the two were done talking to Dumbledore.

She waited by his office until after her patrol time was over. The meeting seemed to last forever. Severus was the first to come down.

"Hey," she said, scrambling off the floor. "Are you okay?"

"Why would you care?" he said coolly.

Lily turned stony as well. "I don't think we can be close anymore, but it doesn't mean I want you hurt, or worse."

He didn't respond, instead he walked past her and back to the Slytherin dungeons. She sank to the floor and sat down again.

She began dozing off by the time James came down. "Erm, Evans," he said, and she quickly stood up, blushing.

He smirked at the blush and said, "Were you waiting for me?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "No! Well, yes. I wanted to see how it went. Did he expel all of you?"

James shook his head and began walking toward Gryffindor Tower. "Sirius is in a lot of trouble. Dumbledore's going to meet him tomorrow. Peter and I have detentions for the rest of the semester for being illegal animagi but… he said he won't say anything. I dunno why he doesn't really mind that we're illegal. He didn't even say he expected for us to get registered. It was weird." Lily nodded as she listened. That was strange.

They walked in silence for a while before he finally said, "Why are you so protective of him? He's such a prick to you."

Lily shrugged and said, "He was my oldest friend. He's the person who told me I was a witch and he didn't think I was weird because of it. He used to be so nice and good… I don't understand it. He had a pretty bad childhood, but still, it doesn't excuse it." She sighed and said, "I don't understand how he can be friends with the people he's friends with and be so interested in the Dark Arts and still claim that he wants to be friends with me."

"It's stupid. The whole lot of them. They're just a bunch of bigots who need to shut up," he said, a bit more angrily than he would have liked.

She looked at him surprised. "But… aren't you and Black purebloods?"

He looked down and said firmly, "We're not one of them. That blood stuff is nonsense. Look, you're probably the smartest and most talented witch in our year and your parents are muggles. Meanwhile Peter's a pureblood and he can barely cast a spell without it backfiring on him."

She blushed and giggled, looking down. He felt his insides go warm. There was more silence until they reached The Fat Lady. "Mandrake," she said as she walked in first. She turned to see James wince as he stepped in. She smirked and said, "Go sit down, Potter. I'll be right back." He looked at her curiously but did as she said. Moments later she was back with a few vials of potion.

He raised an eyebrow and she said, "What? If you walk around limping all day tomorrow people are going to wonder what happened."

"I'm pretty sure I could make up a convincing lie, Evans," he said, thoroughly enjoying that she might be worried about his welfare.

She sat down next to him, mixing some ingredients, and said, "I'm sure you could lie well." She then rolled up his pant leg and inspected the wound. He couldn't believe that Lily Evans was touching him. _Lily Evans._ Goosebumps erupted all over his skin.

"All right, this might sting," she said as she poured the potion onto a washcloth she brought down and then pressed it against his wound.

"Ah!" he said, jumping a bit.

She giggled and said, "Don't be such a baby, Potter. Aw, Quidditch star can't handle a healing potion. Please, don't act like you've never had to be patched up before."

He squirmed a bit and said, "Yeah, but it doesn't sting that much in the hospital wing."

She continued to pat his wound and said, "Why didn't you just go to the hospital wing, then? Their potions will hurt just a little less than the ones I could make."

His real reason was because he liked walking with her, even if it was in silence most of the time. "Didn't want to have to make up a story to Pomfrey," he said as he began getting used to the stinging.

She smirked and said, "Yet you're completely able to lie to anyone who would ask about your wounds tomorrow?"

"They're more gullible than Pomfrey?" he said, not very convincingly. She lightly laughed and he began feeling warm again.

She moved to place some of the potion on his arm and as she did he winced as he sat up straighter. She looked at him confused for a moment before he said, "Oh, I think I took a branch to the ribs. It's fine. They don't feel broken. I know what that feels like."

Her eyes flashed up at him, surprised that he had broken ribs before, and said, "I can make a potion for a bruise." She took some of the other vials and mixed them together before pouring it on the other side of the washcloth. He began to feel itchy. He didn't know if he could handle her touching his torso.

Before he could protest she had pulled up his shirt and inspected the bruising on his lower ribs and upper stomach. He had to keep himself from groaning when she lightly touched his skin before placing the rag against him. "Um," she said, suddenly feeling a bit warm herself, "This won't work very well. It will still take a couple of days to heal. I only know the more basic healing potions."

He smiled and said, "I'm amazed you know how to make healing potions at all."

She cocked an eyebrow and said, "Well, some of us actually pay attention in class, Potter."

He chuckled and she saw his abs ripple, which made him wince in return. Girls always went on and on about how _attractive_ James Potter was and how _amazing_ his body was. She noted that he did have attractive face, but he had always had an unattractive personality. She had never gotten this close of a look at his body though, and they were right. All of that Quidditch seemed to do him well. She gulped a little as she continued to press against the bruising. It gradually became a lighter, but she knew it wouldn't disappear.

"All right," she said with a cough, and she pulled his shirt back down. He was trying very hard not to smirk while memorizing the feel of her fingers on his torso at the same time. "Let's take a look at that cheek then," she said, and she moved onto the couch where she could see it better.

He stayed silent and watched her as she worked. She was completely fascinating. With her this close he could see every string of green in her eyes. He could see every eyelash. He never thought she had freckles, but looking this closely he could tell they were very faint and just on her nose.

She looked up at his eyes and noticed he was staring, so he said, "Um, so why don't you want to be a healer then if you want to help with the war and you like Potions so much?"

She shrugged and said, "I don't know. I just really think it would be neat to be an Unspeakable and discover the meaning of these mysterious things. I'll be able to use Potions with it. The way an object reacts with certain potions can tell you a lot about it. For instance, if you use a baronthora potion-" he smiled as she continued talking. She was such a nerd about potions, and he loved it. He had always mocked Snape for his enjoyment of potions, and James knew part of it was because it allowed Snape to be closer to Lily.

He was brought back into the real world as she lightly brushed her thumb against the scratch on his cheek.

"There we go. That should heal nicely. I don't think it will even scar," she said with an accomplished smile. She looked up at his eyes and he stared right back at her. She knew he had hazel eyes, but she had never noticed all of the colors in them before. She then realized she had one hand cupping his uninjured cheek while her thumb was still stroking where his scratch had been.

She quickly stood up, trying very hard not to blush, and said, "Well, all done." She then began gathering her potions supplies that she had brought downstairs.

James had been in a trance as she stroked his cheek and he nearly jumped when she suddenly stood up. "Uh, thanks," he said, mussing the hair on the back of his head out of habit. "Any advice for a quick recovery. Healer Evans?"

She stood up with a smirk and said, "Get some sleep and try staying out of trouble, will you? If not for your own well being, then to make my prefect duties much easier."

He laughed and said, "Ah, but then they wouldn't be nearly as exciting, and I've got you pegged as the kind of girl who likes a little excitement."

She rolled her eyes and began walking to the girl's dormitory. James quickly tried to follow her, and noted how his leg felt a lot better, and said, "Hey Evans! Thanks for, you know, fixing me up tonight."

Lily turned around and stared at him for a second before giving a small smile and saying, "You're welcome. Thanks for saving Severus. I know you hate each other."

James shuffled his feet, which Lily didn't remember him ever doing before, and shrugged. "It… it was no big deal. I don't really fancy my two best friends becoming murderers."

She smiled. This was his chance to brag on himself and try to impress her, and he didn't take it. "Night, James," she said as she turned back to the stairs.

A goofy grin spread across James's face. She called him James. "Goodnight, Lily," he said back.

As she walked up the stairs she tried to process the night. She wondered what it would mean for Remus. She also wondered why James Potter's looks had that effect on her for the first time. _He's __a prat. He's a prat. He's a prat._ She kept repeating to herself, but it was hard to be convinced after some of the events from this past year. Maybe he had finally grown up after all.

As soon as he got to his own stairs he did a victory dance up to his bed. He collapsed onto the bed, exhausted and happy. Tomorrow would be a different story when they would have to explain what happened to Remus, and when he would have to face Sirius, who he was so angry with he might not be able to hold back from hexing him into next week. Of course, if Sirius hadn't been such an idiot Lily wouldn't have taken care of his injuries and, in turn, touched him and maybe even warmed up to him. As James fell asleep he tried to hold onto the feeling of her fingertips on his skin, the vanilla smell of her being near him, the sound of her laughs, and the intense look in her green eyes.


	6. First Name Basis

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin stared at Harry Potter for the briefest of moments. Although their wands were in their hands and both wanted to kill Peter Pettigrew, they didn't cast a curse. When Harry had initially told them not to curse Peter, neither one of them had changed their minds on the matter. Peter was the one who essentially killed Lily and James, and theyintended on him getting what he deserved.

When Peter began groveling to Harry and thanking him, Sirius wanted to hex him even more. It was what Harry said next that stopped them in their tracks. Harry didn't tell Sirius and Remus to spare Peter to save Peter, he said it to save Sirius and Remus. He didn't want them to kill Peter because he didn't think his dad would want his best friends to be murderers. His jaw was set like James. His glare was definitely Lily's glare. Remus glanced at Sirius and knew that they were both thinking the same thing.

* * *

Remus was practically attacked from behind and it kept him from continuing his walk with James, Sirius, and Peter from the train. He felt two arms around his shoulders and he saw the red hair as it flew into his face. He turned to give Lily Evans a proper hug goodbye.

As they pulled apart she adjusted the bag on her shoulder and said brightly, "So, what are you doing this summer, Remus?"

"Absolutely nothing, if I have the chance. And you? Are you planning on spending a lot of time with Dawlish?" he asked as they began walking away from the train.

"Oh, no." She said, waving off the question. "John and I broke up. He was a bit of a bore, wasn't he? My summer is going to be much more interesting than that. My sister just got engaged and is having a late fall wedding so I'm sure I will be trying on lovely brown or red bridesmaid dresses that clash with my hair," Lily said, not sounding too excited.

"Wow. I'm a little surprised you're even a bridesmaid," he said. He mentally made a note to tell James that Lily was single again.

Lily shrugged and said, "I think my mum is making her. Regardless of why, I'm sure she'll put me in something unflattering and she'll probably be a nutcase the entire summer."

She groaned and Remus laughed. It was then that they caught back up with Sirius, who had stopped to talk to a Ravenclaw girl in their year. Lily hadn't noticed that Sirius had joined walking with them until she heard him say "Bullocks."

Lily looked over in the direction of where Sirius was looking and saw James Potter standing with an older woman that she assumed was his mother. "He's still not talking to you, Black?" she asked with a smirk.

"Well, they're going to have to figure something out. Sirius is still living with the Potters," Remus said.

Sirius didn't like that she seemed to enjoy it a little. If he was truthful, it had been pretty miserable. He hadn't admitted it yet, though. So, he shrugged and said, "Whatever. He's being such a girl about it. No one got hurt."

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "You obviously don't get it. Fine with me though. Things have been quieter and my prefect duties have probably been easier since your little duo broke up."

That just made Sirius angrier, and it was Remus's turn to groan. When Lily and James got mad at each other (or more like when Lily got mad at James), it was usually amusing. However Sirius and Lily got along even worse than James and Lily. She seemed to warm up to James a little and wasn't as opposed to sitting next to Remus or Peter when waiting for friends at dinner or having to walk near them between classes, but absolutely nothing had changed between Sirius and Lily. If anything, it had gotten worse since Sirius sent Snape to the Shrieking Shack.

Remus tried to change the subject. "Made your life easier? James's attention's been on you even more since then."

When Lily shrugged at that Remus couldn't help but smirk. "He's not asking me out or annoying me as much, so it's not as bad as when those two are teamed up." Lily was starting to wonder if Sirius often riled James up.

"You say I don't get it? You don't even know what you're talking about, Evans. You don't know either of us so you should keep your nose out of this. You and your best mate Snivellus are too nosy for…" Sirius started, but Lily interjected. Peter squeaked when she turned and glared at Sirius.

"He is _not_ my friend. And you're right, I don't even know James that well at all and even I know why he's so bloody mad at you," she said, and she lowered her voice and stopped walking so that just Sirius, Peter, and Remus could hear her.

"You could have gotten Severus killed. If you don't care about that, think about what it would have done to Remus. I'm surprised Remus is even still talking to you," she said, and before she could continue, Sirius smirked and chimed in.

"I know that and apologized for that. That's why Moony and I are talking. Sorry, Evans, you don't know everything," he said as he crossed his arms, looking smug.

She made a facial expression to mock his smirk and said, "Did you think what it would do to you? I know you hate Severus and I know you're an arse, but you're not evil. I don't think you want him dead. You didn't think about Remus and you didn't think about yourself. What would it do to James if you two ended up killing Severus? You went too far!"

Sirius stared at her and Lily noticed he looked a bit surprised. She shrugged and said, "He told me he didn't want two of his best friends to end up murderers." She finally noticed her parents and said resolutely, "Well, there's my parents." She then turned to Remus and gave him another hug. She didn't know why he looked a little surprised, too.

"See you later, Remus. You'll write, of course?" she said with a smile.

"Course," Remus said with a nod, the surprised look on his face fading.

After she made her way towards her parents Sirius stuffed his hands in his pockets and said, "Did she call him James?"

Remus watched as she walked away, feeling stunned still, and said, "Twice."

James glanced over at his friends as they talked to Lily. "Jamie, are you and Sirius still fighting?" his mother asked sweetly.

"Yeah, mum. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal," James said as he tried to steal glances at Lily and his friends.

"James, you're not giving him the cold shoulder, are you? James, you need to stop doing that. You're seventeen and-"

But James was no longer paying attention to his mom. Lily had just turned around with a smile on her face and was walking towards him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw her parents and was momentarily deflated. Right, she was walking towards her _parents._

When she walked past him he was brought back to earth. But then an amazing thing happened.

Lily was walking to her parents and as she walked by James she stopped. She didn't think she hated him anymore. She actually thought they were pretty close to being friends after all of these years of loathing.

And so she turned to him and said, "Have a good summer, James."

James's mood suddenly changed. He gave her a goofy grin and his hand instantly went to the back of his hair. She rolled her eyes and smirked. He gave her a nod and said, "You too, Lily."

He smiled as he watched her walk away. She was in muggle clothes now, and as much as he liked her in her school uniform, he really liked her in muggle clothes. He was a seventeen year old boy that greatly preferred muggle clothes to the bulky wizard robes when it came to girls, and particularly Lily. He watched her hair bounce as she walked and how the top half of her jeans hugged to her like a second skin. He didn't really understand why the bottom half was so wide that it completely hid her calves and feet, but he wasn't preoccupied with why that might be fashionable. He instead moved on to watching her as she jumped into her dad's arms and was spun around once. He watched as she giggled and then hugged her mum. She was absolutely amazing to him.

"Remus just told us she broke up with Dawlish," he heard a voice say.

Sirius had walked up behind him while James was in his daze. He turned to see Sirius and his mother both looking at him with amused looks. He wanted to get mad and brush off Sirius. But, once again, she had called him James. His name had never sounded as good as when she said it. He temporarily couldn't be angry.

"What?" was all he managed to say.

"Well, she's pretty. Is that the girl James has been fancying all this time?" his mother said with a smile.

Sirius said "Yes" exactly the same time as James said "No." James's anger came back as he glared at Sirius.

Mrs. Potter just kept her smile as she said, "Come along, boys."

As they walked out of King's Cross, pushing their trunks and wishing they weren't in public so they could just levitate them, Sirius decided to break the stalemate.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said lowly. Mrs. Potter was in front of them, but not so far that she couldn't hear if they talked in a normal tone. "I wasn't thinking, ok? I would have buggered up all of us, I know. I was just sick of that pissant following us around."

James didn't say anything at first. Finally he said, "We've always been on the same page. It's the first time I've thought you went too far."

Sirius nodded and said, "I honestly didn't think he would get hurt. I thought he would see Remus and get scared off. So, I guess, thanks for going down there."

James looked at Sirius and noticed how uncomfortable he looked. James knew Sirius wouldn't have meant for Snape to get killed or seriously hurt. He figured Sirius finally understood how bad it could have been. "Don't mention it."

There was some silence again before Sirius said, "So, Prongs, Lily Evans got a little defensive over you. She said you two talked about why you were mad." Sirius's smirk had finally returned to his face.

James smiled and shrugged. "She might have patched me up that night."

"What?! You bastard. You should've told me! So… when you say patching up… how far did you two go? Did she kiss all of your boo boos," Sirius said in a mocking voice, waggling his eyebrows.

James glanced up to make sure his mum wasn't listening and said, "Nah. We didn't _go_ anywhere. We just… talked while she gave me healing potions. She called me James though." His Lily-smile, as Sirius referred to it, returned.

Sirius shook his head and put his arm over James shoulder. "You are sickingly whipped to be that excited over that. You could get so many other birds! I'm telling you, Prongs. You've been missing out."

James stopped dating girls he just found attractive or that he might have lukewarm feelings about during the past year. Usually it was just a ploy to try and make Lily jealous since he couldn't ever really like those girls when he already fancied Lily.

James shrugged and said, "It just doesn't do it for me anymore."

"There's gotta be better girls that will _actually_ go out with you mate," Sirius said, a little exasperated by the Lily ordeal.

"Maybe. Haven't met them yet, though. To me, there's no one better," he said, his jaw setting as he said it.

Before Sirius could hear another spill about how Lily was so smart and independent and didn't put up with his crap while still being beautiful and seeming so nice and fun to be around (to the people she didn't hate, of course), Sirius decided for another subject change. This time, it was in a normal tone of voice. He knew James wouldn't dare talk about Lily if his mother could hear. As they moved on to discussing next year's Quidditch potential, Sirius resigned to the fact that it would be another summer of James pining away.

" Harry really is his father's son," Sirius said, smiling proudly. Earlier that day, Harry received his letter from Hogwarts, and it had no prefect badge in it.

Remus crooked a brow and said, "I think the reasons Dumbledore didn't give it to Harry are really different from the reasons James didn't get it."

Sirius shrugged, still smiling proudly. "Must admit. The shock over Ron getting it could rival James getting head boy. Fred and George aren't going to let him hear the end of it."

Remus shook his head and chuckled.

Lily owled Remus a few days ago about how her and her girlfriends were going to Diagon Alley the day they should receive their letters. While Remus was surprised he ended up not getting Head Boy. He was more surprised that James got it. Remus didn't actually want it that bad, but he knew some of the prefects had been eyeing it.

He didn't know how Lily would react. He couldn't imagine anyone else being placed in that spot.


	7. A Shock

_Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews! I'm going to try and answer the questions left in reviews very soon! And I promise I'll update on the other stories soon as well._

" Harry really is his father's son," Sirius said, smiling proudly. Earlier that day, Harry received his letter from Hogwarts, and it had no prefect badge in it.

Remus crooked a brow and said, "I think the reasons Dumbledore didn't give it to Harry are really different from the reasons James didn't get it."

Sirius shrugged, still smiling proudly. "I must admit, the shock over Ron getting it could rival James getting head boy. Fred and George aren't going to let him hear the end of it."

Remus shook his head and chuckled.

* * *

"Mum, I promise I'll write. I really need to go, though. It wouldn't look well if the Head Girl is late," Lily said, groaning a little as she tried to get away.

"Oh, yes. Of course, of course. Oh, we're so proud of you. You know that right?" Mrs. Evans said, her eyes tearing up.

"Yes, mum," Lily said with a smile.

"Knock them dead, Lily-pad," Mr. Evans said. Lily gave each of them a hug before pushing her way onto the other side of the platform.

Once there she found Marlene and Serena, and she couldn't help but squeal as she hugged them.

"Wow, I'm surprised you're not already wearing that shiny gold badge," Marlene said with a smirk and a laugh as she looked at Lily in her muggle clothes.

Lily put her hands on her hips and said, "Ha. Ha. I couldn't wear my robes and badge at King's Cross, and I'm not some git who would already be wearing it!"

Serena laughed and said, "Think Remus would be wearing it already? He might do it just so he's prepared."

James was about to step onto the train when he saw Lily laughing with her friends. What he wouldn't do to make her laugh like that. She was looking especially gorgeous today. She was in this dress that was short and in bright colors. He had seen plenty of muggle girls this summer wear little dresses like that. The boots and soft curls in her hair nearly did him in, though. He was in a bit of a daze as he watched her hair glisten.

"Prongs, you there?" Sirius asked, levitating his trunk. "You're in the way."

"Oh, right," James said, levitating his trunk and entering the train. He waited for the other three to follow behind him.

"Well, Remus, I guess we better head in," James said, and his cocky smirk appeared on his face.

Remus sighed and shook his head. "Well, we're doomed."

"You're going to be no fun anymore, will you?" Sirius asked, a little annoyed at the whole situation.

"Or… we'll just get away with everything easier. Right, Prongs?" Peter asked hopefully.

"Right. I'm going to give us as much freedom as I can. That'll go over well," James said, smiling and shaking his head.

"Yup, no fun," Sirius said as he and Peter stalked off.

Lily quickly got on the train and changed into her robes. She sent her luggage down to the usual compartment Marlene, Serena, and she usually stayed in and hurried off to the prefect compartment.

She slid in just a couple minutes before the meeting would start. "Remus!" she said happily as she gave him a hug. She knew he was going to be head boy. It made her feel so more relaxed. They worked really well together.

However, Remus wasn't the only one in the compartment. Lily pulled back a stray hair from her face as she looked confused over at James Potter.

"James… what are you doing here?" she asked. Was he going to go back to asking her out everyday and this was his first ploy? Great. She knew him seeming more grown up was just too good to be true. She scanned over his robes and as always he looked smashing (she couldn't help but roll her eyes at that thought) but they stopped right at the shiny badge over his chest.

"Oh, I'm head boy," James said with a broad smile, hands in pockets and rocking on the balls of his feet. "Seems you're stuck with me this year, Lily."

"Wha- but… you… I thought Remus.." she said, trying to figure out what Dumbledore was trying to pull.

She then stared at him for a second before bursting into a fit of giggles. "Oh… well, congratulations. You got me. What? Is that the first prank of the schoolyear?" James's stomach knotted up. She really did think it was ridiculous that he would be head boy.

She took off her messenger bag and sat it on one of the seats. "While I'm just honored to be the first one to be pranked, I have to say that you all have lost your touch. Not that I'm complaining! I wish all of your pranks were this harmless," she said with a chuckle and roll of the eyes.

Remus was starting to feel very uncomfortable. He knew this was probably killing James's ego, and while it could take a hit or two, Remus didn't want it to be completely gone. Sirius had already laughed about James being head boy the past couple of days. Lily thinking it was a joke would bring him down quite a lot of notches.

"Um, I think I'll just wait outside come when the rest of the prefects do. I'm sure you two need to talk and plan," Remus said, giving them a nod and slipping out of the compartment door.

Lily stared at the door before looking back at James, who appeared to be trying to keep a stone face. She instantly began to feel guilty and she began to blush.

"Oh… you're serious. I'm sorry. I just thought all summer that it would probably be Remus. I'm sure you'll be absolutely, um, good-great. It's just a surprise-" she stammered, trying to somehow fix the situation.

"Don't worry about it," James said as he put his bag down on a seat, and Lily noticed he sounded a bit moody as he said it. He looked back up at her and said, "So, do you want to start it off then and I can just fill in? You know, since I haven't been at one of these meetings before and you have?" She noticed there was a tinge of anger in the last sentence.

She nodded, still feeling pretty guilty, and said, "Sure. That sounds good." They were silent after that. Lily tried to figure out Dumbledore's logic while they waited, both trying to make themselves busy, in silence. James had not even been a prefect. He might make some of the best marks in his year when he actually applied himself, but he was always getting in trouble for pranking and hexing innocent students. Well, he really didn't last year… but does one year make up for years of breaking the rules?

Luckily, the prefects began trickling in. Lily started right on time, pausing and raising a slight eyebrow when people entered late. Maybe Dumbledore was thinking there should always be a good cop and bad cop.

She noticed one of the older Slytherin prefects whisper to the other, and suddenly they were all whispering. Soon enough, they didn't seem to be paying attention when she spoke at all. She thought she heard the word "mudblood."

She tried not to get flustered, and before she could tell them to be quiet, James barked at them.

"Hey. Shut up. If you don't start respecting her you're going to be removed from prefect…" he said, and when he paused the Slytherins quieted down a little bit, but still rolled their eyes. "Or worse."

"What are you really going to do, Potter? Give us a detention?" said Regulus Black. Lily was slightly surprised that he challenged James, considering he was a 5th year and new prefect. Maybe his confidence came from James being close to Sirius.

Lily smirked and said, "Well, I think his reputation precedes him, does it not?" Lily glanced over at James and then Remus. Both returned her smirk. Lily didn't think Dumbledore chose James because of his broad knowledge of hexes, but it definitely helped in this situation.

The six Slytherins no longer spoke while Lily and James did. They merely rolled their eyes when they thought Lily and James weren't looking.

Later, as the prefects filed out, Lily stood by the door and said, "You will be getting your schedules soon. If you need a change you must find someone to change with you and we must approve of it."

She sighed, closed the door behind the prefects, and leaned up against it when they were all done.

James chuckled a little at the sight. He didn't think anything could rattle her, other than he and his mates hexing someone, of course.

She looked up when he chuckled and gave him a look. She then stood back up and smoothed her skirt. "Thanks for chiming in there like that, James. I guess I will be getting some trouble from that group because I'm a muggleborn," she said, and she noticed he winced a little at her reasoning. There's no way he could know how much that prejudice bothered her, could he? She tried to put up such a front in public.

"Uh, don't mention it," he said, mussing up the back of his hair before sliding his bag back on his shoulder. "We're a team right? That's what teammates do."

She smiled a little. He would see their roles in light of sports. "Yeah, I guess we are," she said, giving him a smile.

He stared at her for a moment, and it looked as if he was battling something in his head. "Well, I think I'll get back to my usual compartment. See you later, Evans," he said. He mentally kicked himself for calling her Evans. It had become such a habit.

"Lily," she corrected him as he headed for the door.

He turned back to look at her, surprised, when she corrected him. "Right, Lily."

She smiled again, not knowing why she was all smiles the past minute or so. "So, would you want to work on the schedules later tonight? It'll be incredibly boring so I completely understand if you don't want to but-"

James interrupted her to say, "No, no. I'ld love to." He again mentally kicked himself. Why did he lose all cool with her? He was either a cocky bastard or a complete idiot when he was around her. "I mean, it's my job, so I should."

Her smile grew just a little wider and she nodded. "All right. See you tonight, then, James."

He nodded and said, "See you." He flashed her a grin before turning to the hallway. As soon as he smiled at her, she felt something weird in her stomach. She waited a few moments in the compartment, trying to wrap her mind around what just happened, before grabbing her bag and joining Marlene and Serena.


	8. How Cliche

Rumor had it that the Head Boy and Head Girl might be dating. The Head Boy at the very least was trying to attempt it with his very awkward ways of flirting. Snape thought it was a bit shallow and ridiculous. How cliché. They should be worrying about their job and not love lives. Of course, Snape could hear Dumbledore in his head saying that they do not know the dark days that are coming and how great love is. Let them have their days of fun. They'll need those memories soon.

Snape thought that was even more reason for them to be paying attention to their job. The Weasley boy acted like he cared about his job. He was at least pompous enough to pretend he was always on the alert. When he wasn't with the Clearwater girl, he probably was on alert.

In any case, Snape watched with a bit of scorn as the two walked by. Weasley was telling her some sort of story, and Clearwater smiled and laughed at the appropriate parts. It had appeared to the professors that the Clearwater girl was loosening up the Weasley boy a little bit. Snape watched as Weasley would steal glances when he thought Clearwater wasn't looking. Snape finally rolled his eyes and stalked off.

* * *

How in the hell could Dumbledore make Potter Head Boy? That thought was constantly going through Severus Snape's head as he stalked through the hall way. He was sure that James Potter would just use it to his advantage. He knew Dumbledore favored those four idiots.

He suddenly stopped fuming when he heard a very familiar giggle. It was a sound he hadn't heard in a while. Of course, that was because whenever Lily was around him she was usually stoic or looked annoyed. He decided to wait before turning the corner.

"I can't believe Bertie Bott's is your favorite candy. Come on, chocolate frogs are the best," he heard James Potter say. Snape rolled his eyes. Of course Bertie Bott's every flavored beans were her favorite, and raspberry and chocolate mousse were her two favorite flavors.

Lily shrugged and said, "I guess I just like surprises. Yes, when you pick a bad one it's gross, but the good ones are amazing. I mean raspberry or chocolate mousse?"

James laughed, mentally noting that she liked surprises, and said, "If you like chocolate then you should just get chocolate frogs or chocoballs!"

She shrugged and said, "Fine. Why do you like chocolate frogs so much?"

He shrugged and smirked. "I dunno. They try to jump away at first, so I guess I just like a challenge." He waggled his eyebrows and Snape wanted to vomit at the sight of her rolling her eyes but smirking.

"And you fancy having your face on a chocolate frog card someday, no doubt," she retorted. It wasn't cold like it used to be though, and Snape was boiling on the inside.

James sighed and looked off wistfully, "It would be a rather attractive card."

She smacked his arm and said, "Prat!" He laughed, and Snape didn't know how much he could take. He couldn't believe she was actually friends with James Potter.

When she looked down and giggled Snape saw James steal a glance. He noticed the look James was giving her, and it made Snape even angrier, if possible.

James was just as surprised as Snape that Lily had befriended him. Rounds had been going pretty well. Living in such close surroundings was also going pretty well. There were a couple of times when he would walk down to the Heads' common room and she would be reading in just her nightgown and dressing robe and he would quickly turn back around. He knew he would just be distracted. All in all though, it was better than he could have hoped. There were a few times that "will you go out with me" almost slipped out, but luckily he caught himself every time. It was especially hard to when they were planning out the Hogsmeade weekends and even when they would be planning the schedules of the prefects' rounds.

"I can't believe we had to patrol on another Saturday night," James said, dropping his head back.

"We're too nice. We should probably be harder on them and sticking to the schedule," Lily said thoughtfully.

He raised his eyebrow and said, "We're too nice? I had the perfect answer to the problem…"

She rolled her eyes and said, "We can't give all the weekend nights to the Slytherins, James."

"I'm just sayin', it would make our lives loads easier," James said, hands up in a surrender gesture.

She laughed and said, "Oh, well I'm very sorry that this must be eating into your social life. What, are you missing out on dates?" She couldn't believe she had just asked that. She especially couldn't believe that she felt nervous about his answer.

"Hah, no. No this," he said, gesturing to them walking down the corridor, "is the closest thing I've had to a date in a while."

Snape had taken a few steps back and away when they passed the corridor he had been in, and then tentatively walked behind them until he reached the next cove. He still couldn't believe that she was actually bantering with James.

"Oh," Lily said, before flipping her hair and changing her voice to sound flightier, "Well, I had sooo much fun tonight."

James smirked. She was doing her impression of his and Sirius's "fangirls" as she called them. "Oh, yeah. We should do it again sometime."

Lily walked from him, still playing with her hair, before resting against the wall and tilting her head. She was still doing her bit. "Mmm, how about Tuesday?" It was the next time they had rounds.

Two could play at that game. James walked over, hands in pockets, with a smirk on his face. "Sounds good. It's a date." He then rested his hand on the wall so that he could lean in.

They both became acutely aware of how close they were to each other. Lily tried to muster a smirk as she said, "So, are you going to walk me to my door?"

The flighty voice had dropped, as well as the twirling of the hair. Oh my God, have I been flirting with James Potter? she wondered. She suddenly felt very nervous.

Snape was practically fuming. Was she flirting with him? Didn't they have better things to do, such as their jobs? He didn't like her flirting with anyone, let alone James Potter.

James's stomach flipped as he wondered if she was flirting with him. If she wasn't, he could do something stupid and jeopardize the friendship they had finally built. If she was, maybe they could finally get together. As he said, he always liked a challenge.

"Would you let me give you a kiss goodnight?" he said, hoping it went a long with the bit if she was just joking.

She stared up at him and he had never seen her eyes look so intensely green before. He felt warm all over and he leaned in slowly as she stared back up at him without a word.

However, there was a crash of a suit of armor nearby. Lily quickly stood up just as James lost his balance and his hand slid down the wall. The result was them bumping heads.

"Ow!" they both yelled as they sprang apart and raised hands to their foreheads. Lily giggled and then James laughed as well.

"I guess we better stop joking around, then, and clean that up," Lily said as she rubbed her forehead.

James's stomach plummeted. She had just been joking. He noticed she was blushing though, and it gave him hope.

Snape pocketed his wand and quickly turned around and stalked off before they could look back to see him.


	9. An Opening

Remus was trying to ensure everyone could sleep at least somewhat uncomfortably. Sirius wasn't the best at hosting. He currently was moping about not being able to tell Harry anything about what was going on. That left ensuring people had pillows and towels to Remus.

He knocked on Tonks's door and waited patiently with his stack of pillows and towels. He was trying to tell himself it wasn't an excuse to see her. When she opened the door, he hoped she didn't hear him gulp. She was drying her hair… in a bathrobe.

"Wotcher, Remus," she said with a smile. It was adorable, really.

"Um, I was just seeing if you, well, needed any pillows or towels," he said before coughing.

She shook her head, still smiling, and said, "Nope. I think I'm all set."

Remus was trying very hard to keep eye contact. "All right, well, if you need anything just let me know."

"And not Sirius?" she asked, a mischievous look on her face.

"Well, he hasn't been feeling exactly… hospitable, as of late," he said with a bit of a smirk.

She chuckled, leaning on the doorway. "Well, someone has to be a grown-up, eh?"

Before he could respond, she slipped right off the doorway. "Oof!" she said as he reached to grab her and she reached for something to grab onto. The result was him holding her. In her bathrobe. The pillows and towels were forgotten on the floor.

Her cheeks began to match her pink hair. "Sorry. Clumsy me, you know?" she said, laughing nervously. "Um, I should probably, um, finished getting dress."

"Right, right," Remus said, quickly backing away and picking up his things as she reentered her room.

"Well, night, Remus," she said as she began closing the door.

"Good night, Nymphadora," he said, still feeling a little warm all over from being so close to her.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Please don't call me that. I hate that name."

It was his turn to look mischievous. She blanched and said, "Crap. Don't, please. And don't tell Sirius. He'll re-remember I hate it and start calling me that again."

Remus gave her a bit of a shrug with a smirk and turned around. She watched him as she walked away. She knew better than to tell a Marauder something like that. "Shite," she said before closing her door.

Remus was still smirking as he reached the next room. Partly it was from knowing she didn't like being called by her first name, and partly it was because it reminded him of another story.

* * *

Lily reluctantly climbed out of bed. It was barely seven o'clock on a Sunday morning, but she needed to do homework. She walked over to her window and looked out over the grounds. It was late September and the leaves were already beginning to turn colors. She let out a contented sigh and walked into the bathroom that conjoined James's room.

She jumped and squeaked when she saw James wrapped only in a towel, looking at himself in a mirror as he cast a shaving spell on his face.

"Oh, hey, Lily," he said, hurriedly trying to finish. "I'm almost done."

"No! I'm sorry. I just-the door wasn't locked and it's really early and… why are you up so early?" she said, trying very hard to stare at his face and not let her eyes wander. She had heard that he had a great body and she could only assume so since he was a Quidditch player, but she had never seen him without a shirt. It was muscular but still lean and not bulky, which she liked. She was becoming more aware of how much taller and just bigger in general he was compared to her petite frame.

"Lily?" he said, and even though she had been staring at his face she had definitely been phasing off.

"Hmm?" she said, hoping it didn't seem like she had been phasing off about him.

"I said I have Quidditch practice this morning," he said. He had a smirk on his face as he said it. _Did he know?_ Lily felt herself begin to blush, no matter how much she was fighting it.

He had to know that she might, just maybe, have the smallest inkling of a crush on him now. He must be smirking because it really had been a game this time. He never seriously fancied her. It made no sense it all. After all, she was Lily Evans: bookworm, unathletic, short, redheaded, moderately attractive. He usually dated the long legged flighty blondes or mysterious brunettes who would coo over his Quidditch or hexing moves. He was tall, and now she could see he was obviously muscular. His eyes were this amazing hazel that she could never quite pinpoint as a certain color. His smile made her automatically want to smile. What was worse is that he didn't seem to be the awful ignorant prat he once was. It was so easy to not fancy him when he was being a git. It was a lot harder when he was polite and helpful and hilarious.

The joke was definitely on her though. He asked her out for years and she never did say yes. Now, she thought she might actually want to and he won't do it because he's tired of his little joke, his little game. Their banter probably used to be a running gag to keep things interesting. Now they're friends. And that's it.

Of course, she was an idiot to fancy him. He was unattainable and definitely not her type. He didn't take school as serious as he should and sometimes he still pulled pranks that were too immature, even for him, and his best friend was still Sirius Black. She should fancy a more respectable boy, even though she couldn't remember the last time she befriended someone who was so easy to talk to. She was a bit mad at herself for fancying someone she shouldn't fancy, and who definitely didn't fancy her. After all, it was pretty much common knowledge that he and Sirius could date anyone they wanted, except for some Slytherins. If he knew that she had the even faintest amount of romantic feelings for him, why didn't he just ask her out if he had been serious the first go around?

"Lily!"

Lily apparently had been staring at the sink. She looked up at a clean-shaven James.

"You all right?" he said. Her stomach knotted up when he looked at her with concern.

"Yeah," she said, smiling and shaking her head. "I'm just… tired, I guess. It is early."

"Yeah, here… let me just get…" he said as he tried to walk past her to grab his pile of clothes at the end of the countertop. They awkwardly tried to sidestep each other without bumping into each other.

James grabbed his clothes and gave her a bit of a salute and she said "Good luck with practice" before quickly closing the door behind him. Her head was swimming.

After lunch, Marlene and Serena found her in the library.

"You know, you could have _enjoyed_ the weekend," Malene said as she sat down next to her, sans books.

Lily grumbled and said, "No, because then I have time to think about things other than school and… I just don't want to do that."

Marlene smirked and exchanged glances with Serena. "Oh? What do you not want to think about?"

Lily gave them both a look and said, "Don't play coy."

"Ah! You definitely fancy him then!" Serena said in a high pitch voice that was slightly louder than what should be in a library. Madame Pince and Lily both shushed her.

"Yes. And I'm completely mental for fancying him. He's all wrong for me," Lily whispered matter-of-factly. Marlene knew Lily was just trying to convince herself.

"I've been saying all along that you shouldn't shrug him off. Maybe you're _so_ _wrong_ for each other that you're actually _perfect_ for each other," Marlene said in a low voice with a raised eyebrow and nod of the head.

"That doesn't even make sense," Lily whispered, sighing.

"No. It does. Think about it. You make him more mature and not do such stupid shite all the time and he makes you lighten up. Don't tell me you didn't always see there could be some potential with him if he grew up. You obviously get along now and I think you would actually look really cute together. Besides, you're Head Boy and Head Girl. How much more perfect can you get?" Marlene whispered back.

Lily paused and looked between Marlene and Serena. "Whatever. Even if that makes some sense, I shouldn't fancy him and he doesn't fancy me. He probably wants to date some gorgeous blonde who will hang off his every word."

Serena rolled her eyes and said, "Or a gorgeous redhead that he's been pining over for at least two and a half years!"

Madame Pince shushed her again.

"That was probably some game during his git days," Lily said, annoyed that felt like sulking.

"No way. He made a fool out of himself. He dated all kinds of girls, why would he repeatedly keep up having some girl reject him and call him awful things as a joke?" Marlene whispered, eyeing Madame Pince.

Lily looked between the other two girls again and said, "You think so?"

Serena smirked and leaned in to whisper, "This is what you're going to do."

Later that night Lily came back from the library and James was in the Head Common Room, reading for class. Lily couldn't help but smile a little at the sight. She quickly headed up to her room. Ten minutes later she came down the stairs in one of her Muggle dresses and boots. Her hair was done in the big feathered style that was 'in' at the moment and she tried to look confident.

"Where are you going?" James said, looking up from his book as she crossed the room.

She stopped and turned back to look at him. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Oh, I'm going to eat with the girls and then go hang out in the Gryffindor Common Room or I dunno, somewhere else. I just kind of want to get out and do something other than rounds or school since you know, we've hadn't had a Hogsmeade weekend yet and I haven't done anything too fun. I mean, I haven't even been asked out on a date in ages."

_Please ask me out again. You haven't done it in over a year. You only need to ask one more time…_

James stared back at her. He had told Sirius, Remus, and Peter what happened earlier and while Sirius told him to go ahead and make another move, Remus and Peter said that her phasing off didn't necessarily mean anything. His mind was racing. She looked smashing, as always. She just said she hadn't had a date in ages. He knew the perfect line… _Don't ask her out. Don't spoil it. Wait until you're absolutely sure or else she'll just get mad again. _

James coughed and said, "Um, well, have fun."

Her smile faltered for a minute before she nodded and said, "Thanks." Once out of the portrait hole she took a few steps before stopping to take a deep breath. She had given him an opportunity. _Wasn't it an obvious opening?_ She wondered to herself, _Did that settle it, then?_


	10. Dreams

Sirius leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his eyes. Harry's dreams worried him. He skimmed over Harry's letter again and contemplated over the advice he would give. It always saddened him at moments like these. It shouldn't be him giving Harry advice. It should be his parents. But that was a dark road that led to guilt and moodiness and currently, Harry needed him.

So he sighed and began writing his reply. When he finished he leaned back in his chair. His gaze went about his room. His eyes locked on the picture of his friends and him and stayed there for the longest time. He then opened up his top desk drawer and fished through the old letters and pictures stuffed in there. Again, he had a feeling of how unfair it all was to Harry. He knew that Dumbledore thought Harry's dreams were very dangerous, but he didn't like that Harry wasn't being told why. He was 15, he should know.

With another sigh he began to close his desk drawer. He stopped when he noticed a picture that had floated to the top. It was one Lily had sent of Harry's first Christmas. He watched as James and Lily both smiled, and after a brief wave of sadness, Sirius smiled as well.

* * *

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all laughing when they came in to the Heads' common room. The boys hadn't really seen very much of the Heads' quarters, and since it was almost past curfew to be out and they were too big to all fit under the Invisibility Cloak, even with Peter in rat form, they decided to hang out there.

James instantly quieted them when he noticed Lily asleep on the large sofa. She gripped the cushion as she heard them come in, but didn't wake up.

"Nevermind guys," James whispered, trying to shoo them away. "We'll hang tomorrow."

Remus smiled approvingly but Sirius rolled his eyes. He had never seen James work so hard for something that he hadn't even gotten yet. James had to shove them out of the portrait hole to keep their ribbing him from waking Lily.

When they were finally out James strolled over to the sofa. She was still sound asleep, her book forgotten on the floor. He smiled because when he left she had been studying furiously.

He knew she wouldn't fancy sleeping in her clothes on the sofa all night, but before he could wake her she began to stir.

He jumped back, not wanting it to look like he had been watching her.

She then began moving a bit faster, and soon she was tossing and turning a bit. She was still asleep, though.

"Lily?" he said, softly. She turned again. "Lily," he said a bit louder. Her face looked distressed now as she tossed back and forth. "Lils!" he said, now kneeling next to her and shaking her shoulder to wake her up.

Her eyes popped open and he didn't remember if he had ever seen her look so scared. She was breathing heavy and it looked like she was unsure of where she was or what was going on.

"You were asleep," he said, unsure of how to comfort her if need be.

She sat up, swung her legs around, and quickly sunk back into the couch. Her hand was to her forehead as she tried to catch her breath. "It was a dream… it was a dream…" she said more to herself.

James sat down next to her, a look of concern on his face, and said, "Erm, you okay?"

She looked over at him, truly noticing he was there for the first time and nodded her head. "Yes, well, sort of."

He smiled a bit and said, "Want to talk?"

She looked as if she was trying to sort it all out in her head. "I… I was in this room, I thought. The walls were all dark and it was tiny, except the ceiling was the sky. And then… I saw Petunia standing above me as if I was in a hole looking up. You know Petunia, my sister that I don't really get along with? Well, she was holding these two little boys. One on each hip. One looked like Vernon, my sister's fiancé. Exactly like him. He was even a bit chunkier like Vernon." She chuckled a little then and it made James smile.

"The other had darker hair like my dad and Petunia. He had my grandmother's eyes. That's where I get mine from. And Petunia was just staring down at me with that… that look of disapproval she always has now…" her smile was gone and she felt her eyes begin to water. James tentatively placed a hand on hers, and she didn't move away.

"And then there was dirt on me. It kept falling on me and as I stared at her and the boys I just… I had to get out. I felt claustrophobic. I felt I had to get out of there… like I wasn't meant to be there. And… I couldn't. I couldn't even sit up. I just watched as the dark-haired boy started crying, which in turn made the sandy-haired boy start crying and then… Petunia just walked away. I couldn't make a noise, I couldn't move… and then I woke up."

James looked deeply concerned and it relieved Lily. It meant he did care, right? She couldn't help tearing up, though. "God, I don't even know why it's making me so upset. It felt so real but… it was just a bloody dream," she said, trying to calm herself down.

James rubbed her hand a few times before moving closer. "You're right. It's just a dream. Dreams don't mean anything, really."

She managed to smile a little and nod before looking down. She then looked back up and said, "Right. I'm probably just stressed about Petunia. She's been going mental over her wedding. That's why I felt like I couldn't do anything. And the boys? Probably because it would be insane for her to have twins. God help my mother if Petunia has more than one child." She tried to laugh but wasn't completely successful.

James smirked as he watched her and she huffed. "Don't look at me like that, James."

James was taken aback. "Like what?"

She crossed her arms and said, "Like I'm… pitiful.. or something."

James laughed and said, "You okay then?"

She stared back at him, arms crossed, and finally shrugged with a sigh. "I don't know."

"Want a hug or something?" he asked earnestly.

She nodded with a bit of a pout, not wanting to admit it and seem weak. "Yes."

James laughed again before giving her a hug. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and rested her cheek against his chest. As she took deep breaths to calm her down he said, "That's it…" He felt slightly uncomfortable. He wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to comfort a girl, the fact that it was Lily made it worse.

He hesitated for a minute as she continued to hug him. He remembered seeing Remus comfort her after a spat with Snape or her sister and after a few more short moments, he gave her a kiss on top of the head. "You're ok," he said reassuredly.

She pulled away and stared at him as if she was trying to read him. He instantly regretted his action. "Wha-What's wrong?" he stuttered before gulping.

She stared at him long and hard, and she looked completely torn. "I… I fancy you."

He didn't reply at first. She felt her stomach plummet as he stared at her and then blinked.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, blushing and trying to scoot away. "That was a little presumptuous to think you still.. or that you ever really, of course, um…." She suddenly didn't feel like a brave Gryffindor. Instead, she felt an urge to run.

He shook his head as if to clear it. He had to respond or she would leave, he knew.

"I just-wait-come again?" he looked genuinely confused. Here was her out.

"Nothing," she said, smiling nervously and still pink. She dreaded how awkward she knew the next few days would be. She just hoped he wouldn't tell anyone. She would be mortified.

He grabbed her hand before she could stand up and said, "No. Just… say it again. I just… I want to make sure I heard you right."

She noticed he looked unsure and she sighed. "I understand if you don't fancy me anymore or if you never really did, if it was a joke but…" she shrugged and continued, "I fancy you, James."

His face brightened up instantly and before she could comprehend the fact that he was smiling, his lips were on hers.

She held onto the wrist of the hand that had already moved to her cheek, and even though she was shocked, she tried not to freeze up.

He had imagined what it would be like to kiss her a million times, but this beat every one. His senses were on overdrive. He was filled with her vanilla scent. One hand was touching her soft cheek while the other had moved to the small of her back to pull her closer. At first the kisses were soft and slow, but soon after she put a hand on the back of his head and moved the one on his wrist to gripping his shirt, they became faster, more passionate.

_Oh Merlin, I'm snogging **Lily Evans.** I'm snogging Lily Evans!_ he thought over and over again. He slid his tongue against her bottom lip, begging for entrance, and he thought he might be dreaming when she accommodated him.

Lily felt just as surprised. First it came from the fact that she fancied him and that she really wanted to snog him, then from the fact that they were actually snogging, and finally that even though it was their first snog, it was the best one she had had. She always thought it was silly and overly romantic when someone could just know from a first kiss, but now she would have to reconsider.

She finally pulled away. At first they just stared at each other as they regained their breath. James had a goofy grin on his face. Lily couldn't help but giggle before she leaned in and kissed him again. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she smiled into the kiss as he pulled her closer. If she had wondered if she really fancied him, she didn't have to anymore. It was a sure thing.

When they broke apart again they barely moved away from each other. She rested her forehead against his for a moment. When she pulled back enough to see his face he had something between a smirk and his grin on his face.

"What?" she said, biting her lip as she smiled and rested her arms on his shoulders.

"I'm just… surprised. Don't get me wrong I'm glad, very glad. Just… toerag, sound familiar?" James said, still trying to soak it in and memorize the feel of her in his arms.

Lily laughed and looked down, a little embarrassed at having to eat her words. She then tried to regain some confidence as she looked up at him and said, "Well, the Giant Squid seemed busy."

"Ha ha…." he said, leaning in and kissing her again, inadvertently pushing her back against the sofa. He took advantage of the new position by getting her back by tickling her sides.

"No, James… stop… Ah! James…" she yelped through her fits of giggles. James stopped and laughed as she tried to breathe normally again.

He smiled down at her and moved some of the stray hair out of her face. "Feeling better?" he asked.

Lily smiled, running her hands up and down his arms one time before saying, "Much better."

_Author's note: All right! That bit of the build up is over! Sorry for the wait, but I figured it would be gradual. :) Thanks for all the reviews so far and keep them coming!_


	11. The Coward

Severus Snape was shaking. The act was done. The Unbreakable Vow had released its hold on him. Voldemort was pleased.

And now he was alone to go insane if he liked. All he heard was that wretched Potter boy's words replay in his head. _Coward.** Coward. **_It wouldn't leave his mind. The sight of Potter so angry, so resolute, was burned into his retinas. The vision should have reminded him of the man he loathed so much. It didn't though.

Instead Potter's words screamed in his head, blurring together. The glare mixed of anger and hurt made him weak. The combination made him lose his head and lash out at the boy. He had to make it stop, didn't he? It ripped him apart the first time he heard it, the second time was bound to make him nearly go insane.

* * *

Snape didn't know how much more he could take. When the news of James Potter and Lily Evans dating broke, it flew through the castle. He felt like everyone was whispering about it. Potter fangirls were jealous, Potter haters were shocked, and Slytherins had another thing to complain about.

At first Lily looked a bit embarrassed to show any sort of affection. Snape figured it would end fast. She was probably embarrassed to be dating him after all she had said! He was wrong though. The embarrassment soon looked more like shyness. It started with hand-holding and then arms around waists as they walked. They seemed to turn a corner when Gryffindor beat Slytherin in the first match of the year. Potter promptly swooped down and kissed Lily for the whole school to see. She blushed and bit her lip, but she no longer looked embarrassed to give him a peck or lean against him as they walked in the hallways.

They were both always smiling, too. It made Snape sick. He watched as Potter would cup her cheek or run a hand down her arm. Snape's blood would boil. He wanted to hex Potter every time he touched her.

Finally, he broke.

Snape left the dungeons after a particularly long session of extra potions practice. Of course, he walked into a corridor where the two were snogging.

"James…" Lily said between kisses. "We have to… stop… someone could… could see… we're supposed to be… be on roun-" She then giggled as he kissed her neck.

She pushed him away with a smirk as he whined. "All right, fine. But when we get back…"

Something inside Severus Snape snapped. The sight of James Potter's hands on her hip and in her hair with his lips on her neck as she kept her eyes closed with a bit of a smile made him lose all rational thought. He hated Potter more than anything now.

"Sectumsem-" he seethed as he aimed his wand at Potter. Unfortunately for him, Lily had turned towards him just in time to see him raise his wand. Even more unfortunate for him, Lily never let go of her wand during rounds and was always quick at spells. It was what made her naturally good at Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Expelliarmus!" she yelled, her spelling coming out just before he could say the "pra."

Snape watched as his wand flew out of his wand. His rage had broken, and he realized instantly how much of a mistake that might have been.

"What in the bloody hell are you doing, Severus?" she yelled, her glare on him and her dark red hair looking wilder after the snog. "Fifteen points for trying to hex a student! And with his back turned? That's a new low, even for you."

James had stepped up beside her, wand raised. "I've got this," she said coldly.

James looked at her, shocked. "What happened to us being a team, huh?" She was practically shaking with anger. James looked between her and Snape and realized the tension between them ran deeper than he thought.

"Protecting him, Lily? So you've turned into one of his flighty sluts, have you? That is what you called them, isn't it?" Snape said coolly, trying to regain his nerve.

Lily flashed a glance at James to see his reaction. He opened his mouth but promptly closed it at the quick look of shame on her face.

"It's different now, Severus. He's different, I'm different, and it works," she said, a resolute look on her face. "And you're different. You've gotten worse."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he said lowly as he brushed past her, wanting more than anything to leave it all behind him.

"I don't? Really? You're mum tells my mum she's worried, that you've gotten darker. And don't pretend you don't have that stupid tattoo on your arm. Are you spying for him in the school? Already doing his bidding? What… does he promise you power? You're such a bloody coward, you know that? Going with something you don't even truly believe in because you won't stand up for what is right but difficult!" She was yelling now, and James tentatively approached her.

"Lily… calm down… he's not worth it…" he said, but she didn't seem to hear him. Almost two years of anger was finally coming out.

"How do you know what I believe?" he yelled back. "You don't know me as well as you think."

She rolled her eyes, a look James knew very well from the past, and crossed her arms. "You can't look me in the eye and really tell me you believe in that shite."

He stared at for her a moment and she looked proud of herself. "I know you, Severus. Well enough to know you're letting the darkness get to you. Sectemsempra? I've seen that in your notes, Severus. That's not a harmless jinx. It ripped a pillow to shreds. What would it have done to James?" she yelled, her hands in fists.

James was dumbfounded. He really had no idea what to do. She wasn't noticing him, and she was only getting more upset.

"You're not meant to be with him, Lily!" Snape yelled, and it all became clear to James. He and Snape never had gotten along, but when the feud really began getting dirty was when James began fancying Lily and didn't like that she hung out with the grease-haired snot. James had a feeling Snape had really begun hating him when he started asking Lily out. Snape was in love with Lily.

"Don't tell me who I'm meant to be with!" she yelled, and James was glad that Snape's proclamation didn't seem to phase her. "I'm not yours. I told you that. I'm not meant to be with someone who is line with an evil maniac who wouldn't bat an eye killing me just because I'm muggleborn. In case you haven't noticed, Severus, you're hardly of pureblood status either!"

"Lily…," James said, touching her arm and trying again to calm her down.

"Yeah, and I hate my father! He's deranged and weak!" Snape said. He was on the complete defense now. He was no longer rational. "Just… just like you. You're all alike! Nothing but a bunch of crazed mudbloods!"

"You-" James said, but he was too late in raising his wand-arm because Lily had already raised her hand and slapped Snape across his face. Snape didn't even try to retaliate, though.

"And you are nothing but a coward! A coward for trying to hex James with his back turned and a coward for making up dark hexes so you can fight dirty. You stupid arse!" she yelled as she tried to hit his chest. "And you're a coward for using your father as an excuse to pretend to care about blood status and for joining him even though you say you love me and he would kill me Severus. If he had the chance he would! And everyone I care about because they are muggles or because they're friends with me!" James had swooped in before she could hit him again. She was wrapped in his arms, but it didn't stop her from trying to hit Snape more. Snape didn't move, didn't try to protect himself.

James pulled her backward repeating "Lily, calm down… Lily it's all right… Lils, Lily…"

Snape stared at her as she glared at him. The anger and hurt was etched on her face and she was tearing up. "You're a coward! A coward! Because you won't stand up! Would you sit by and let him hurt me after I was your first friend? After I stood by you? You bloody cowardly bastard!" She was crying now as she yelled, and James tried desperately to pull her away so that she couldn't look at Snape anymore.

"Won't you go?" he yelled at Snape. "Can you not see what you did? What you're doing to her?"

Snape glanced at James looking so angry, so resolute. He was hardened. He looked at Lily, who had turned into James's chest, muttering "Coward… bloody coward…" Her arms were wrapped around him and she was gripping the back of his shirt.

"Shh…" James cooed, looking down to Lily who was still crying but seemed to be calming down.

Snape watched as his world crumbled around him before finally turning and walking off.

"He's gone. It's over," James said, not knowing what to think of the entire situation.

Lily moved her head so she could watch Snape retreat. She looked back up at James and said quietly, "I'm sorry. You must think I'm a lunatic."

He tried to brush away some of her tears, smiled to reassure her and said, "No. I might go a bit mental if Sirius turned dark."

She nodded and looked back down to rest against his chest again. "Want to go back?" She nodded again, and they walked hand-in-hand silently back to the Heads' dormitory.

He was surprised when she didn't let go of his hand as they reached the Head Girl's stairs.

"Come up with me for a while? I just feel safer when I'm with you," she said before looking down and nervously laughing. "It sounds silly and really un-feminist but," she said before looking up and shrugging, "it's true."

He gave her a lop-sided smile and said, "Sure."

As they walked up the stairs she said, "But don't start thinking I'm some damsel in distress."

He smirked and said, "Oh, after tonight I definitely wouldn't try and think that. Wouldn't want to make you go mental."

"Oh, shut up," she said with a faint smirk, hitting his stomach. He smiled at how she was calming down enough to know he was joking.

She led him over to her bed and suddenly looked as if she just realized the gravity of what the situation might look like.

"Um, I'm just going to change into my nightgown," she said with a slightly nervous tone. "You can just make yourself comfortable, of course."

As she scurried off to their joint bathroom to change he pondered what to do. He could change into what he slept in, but that was usually just boxers. He decided boxers and his t-shirt would be ok. He doubted very seriously he would sleep in there tonight.

When she came out of the bathroom she crawled into bed and snuggled up to him. At first they were both silent.

"So do you love him? Did you love him?" James said, his stomach feeling sick from the possible answer.

"No," she said, cuddling up to him more. "No, never like that. If anything, he was a brother to me. He was my best friend for so long." She sighed and said, "And I defended him so much when I got new friends and he just… changed. He was always a bit different, I guess. But his childhood was just awful. Worse than awful, really. But then he just… got dark."

James listened and slowly caressed her arm. "I get it then, Lily. Why it hurts. It's like a betrayal. If a friend betrayed me like that… well, I don't know what I'd do." She sighed and he continued to caress her arms. She knew he was so loyal to his friends, that they were so loyal to each other, that he really meant that.

"I'm sorry about what I said about your ex-girlfriends," she said finally.

He gave a short chuckle and said, "Probably deserved that. I was just trying to distract myself with them. You know that, right? I was serious about me fancying you."

She looked up at him with a small smile and said, "I know." She brushed some of his fringe out of his eyes before leaning in to kiss him. When she pulled away she noticed a strange look on James's face. As if she was fragile.

"James, please don't look at me like that. I know I got upset tonight, but I'm not some damsel for you to protect," she said, a sad look in her eyes.

He cupped her cheek and said with a smirk, "I know you've got a lot of fight, but why can't I want to protect you?"

She laughed softly and said, "I guess you can want to, but you can't protect me always, you know."

"I can," he said, a smug look on his face. "I promise you I can. I mean, I am James Potter, after all."

"Arrogant prat," she said as her eyes regained their sparkle. "Don't make promises you can't keep, James."

"I can keep it," James said determinedly.

She shook her head and said, "The world's too dark right now. That Voldemort is gaining power. No one can make promises like that."

"Well, you stepped ahead of me and stopped ol' Snivellus tonight," he said, running a hand through her hair. "I can promise you I will try to protect you, too. I'd step in front of you every time."

She stared at him a little bewildered. He said all of that earnestly, and he looked completely serious. She leaned in and kissed him again and he quickly turned her over so that he could lie over her as he kissed her. Her fingers set about making his hair even messier than usual and one of his hands snuck up her thigh and just under her nightgown. She began losing all coherent thought as his kisses left her mouth and began traveling down her collarbone.

"Don't get any crazy ideas, Potter," she said as she tried to control her breathing.

He had no intention of them shagging. He wanted to go only as fast as she was completely comfortable with. He had no intention of messing this one up.

His kisses moved back to her neck and his hand slid up her body, but over her nightgown. "How about just crazy enough?" he whispered.

She giggled, and the hurt began to flow away.

_Author's note: This flashback was my first idea and the one that led to the story! I guess I found it interesting that Snape reacted so sharply to Harry's words. Thanks for all the reviews!_


	12. A Truce

Sirius sighed as he returned to his room. He felt as if there was nothing he could do. He remembered how James hated being stuck in Godric's Hollow. Lily ended up being the one who would usually write to Sirius and tell how it was going. Lily knew how much it killed James to feel useless, she felt the same way, and she would ask Sirius to come visit to lift James's mood. She didn't have to say that it would lift her mood. He could tell from how she would say that _they_ missed him. How she would always sign 'Love, Lily.' How James would help Harry fly around the room while Lily and Sirius watched, laughed, and caught up.

Of course, it took the two of them longer to warm up to each other than it took James and Lily. Sirius and Lily were civil before James and Lily began dating, but they certainly weren't friends. Sirius didn't like how quick and hard James had fallen for Lily. He had no idea how much Lily fancied James, and he didn't want to see what would happen if James was more serious about the relationship than her. Lily thought Sirius still needed to grow up.

Sirius could laugh at it now. He missed James all of the time. He and Regulus had never been all that close, and James was more like a brother. He saw James when he watched Harry play Quidditch or laugh with his friends or demand to know what's going on in a fight he knew he had a stake in.

He saw and missed Lily also, though. Harry's look when he was intently listening, the flash in his eyes when he was angry or amused, the sense of hope and duty about him all reminded Sirius of Lily. As much as he loved being able to see his best friend in his best friend's son, Sirius almost wished Harry had more than just her eyes. He missed her laugh, her smirk, her neat handwriting, the way she could always challenge him, and her grilled cheese sandwiches.

The guilt would come soon if he wasn't careful. It was another reason why he hated being so restless. It let him think too much. So he decided to try to think of something else, anything other than when Sirius convinced James to choose Peter instead.

He thought of Lily again and how they once annoyed each other to no end. How he thought she was always on her high horse. How he was glad he ended up being so wrong.

* * *

"Hello, Evans," Sirius Black said as he sat down next to Lily. She had been studying with Marlene and Serena in the Gryffindor common room earlier, but Marlene had gone to play Quidditch and Serena had gone to see her boyfriend.

"Hello, Black," she said, glancing up at him before returning to her essay. "Can I help you?"

"Just…. Looking for James," he said, drumming his fingers on the table.

"He's at Quidditch right now. The keepers and chasers practice," she said, not looking up from her paper. "And you know that. Why are you really here?"

"A woman that gets right to the point, I like that," he said with a smirk.

"My patience is waning…" she warned as she tried to find a specific spell in her Defense book.

"Fine. Here it is. So, if you're going to date my best mate, I figure we should be friends."

Lily looked up, surprised. She never would have thought Sirius mature enough to offer the peace branch. "Okay…" she said, allowing him to continue.

"Okay. Go. Tell me all about yourself. All the Snivelly stories and loads of reading you've done before James gets back," Sirius said, waiting her response.

She crooked an eyebrow. "So I can say we swapped stories and braided each other's hair and now are the best of friends? I don't think that will really help."

Sirius didn't look offended. Instead, he smirked. "Ok. Point taken."

Lily stared at him intently, trying to measure him up. "Why don't you just tell me why you don't like me. What? Just think I'm too much of a prude?"

Sirius barked a laugh. "You need to have more fun, but no. Look, I'm still going to prank. I'm still going to date a lot of girls. I'm not James and I'm not Remus. I'm not planning on going ahead and being adult when I'm still a teenager. I don't bully though, so no need to get your knickers in a twist." She opened her mouth to object and he continued, "The thing with Sniv-er, Snape and Remus and the Whomping Willow was stupid. Ok, I admit it. But he was pissing me off and was after us and well… I didn't think about how it could have been bad. I just wanted to scare him. I didn't think he'd get hurt. But, yeah, it was stupid."

She opened her mouth again and finally had to close it. She crossed her arms and said, "All right, I'm glad you realize that. So what's your problem with me if it's not that I follow the rules?"

Sirius looked around the room before leaning towards her. "He changed because of you and yeah he's not quite as fun but… I get it. He's ready to do different kind of jokes and ready to stop fooling around so much. I don't care about that. But James… he really likes you. A lot. You shot him down and embarrassed him for years and he just… he just kept at it. I just, I don't think you're as into it. And I don't like it. It would crush him if it doesn't work out."

Lily stared at him wide-eyed. "Um… well… I don't know what to tell you. I just started fancying him this term, I think. So… you might be right but," she paused as Sirius looked annoyed, "but I promise I'm 'into it.' Honestly…. I don't know by how much… but I am. I promise I'm not just stringing him along… I wouldn't want to hurt him."

Sirius surveyed her for a moment as if he was trying to tell if she was genuine. He then smiled and said, "Okay then."

Lily smiled, almost laughing, and said, "Okay."

He paused and said, "So, are we… _friends_ now?"

She looked contemplative and said, "I don't know. Are you going to hex innocent bystanders or perform malicious pranks?"

Sirius shrugged and said, "Probably not. Going to rag on me a lot?"

She smiled and said, "Probably not."

"All right, then. See you later, Lily," he said, giving her his hand as a sign of truce.

"Bye, Sirius," she said, as she shook his hand.

He bounded off but stopped in his tracks when he saw April Thorburgh step into the common room.

"April…" he said, draping an arm around her shoulder, "You doing anything tonight?"

She giggled and Lily rolled her eyes with a smirk.


	13. Time by the Lake

McGonagall was walking the corridors when she saw a new development. Harry Potter was sitting against a tree, and it looked like he was at least pretending to study if he wasn't. In his lap was Ginny Weasley, who looked like she actually was studying. McGonagall watched, amused, as every once in a while he would try to distract Miss Weasley, and she would bat him away.

She smiled fondly as she walked away. Maybe Harry Potter had more in common with his father than Quidditch, a knack of getting into trouble, and his appearance.

* * *

"James," Lily said in a monotone voice. "I'm studying. You should be, too."

James rested his head against the tree and groaned. "Lils, it's only October. There's no NEWTs tomorrow."

Lily didn't look up from her book, but instead resituated her head in his lap. "Yes, but we have a paper due Monday and it won't be any good if we don't research for it." With that she turned and wrote on a parchment that she had been keeping notes on before resituating herself again.

"You know, we've only had one date, _a Hogsmeade weekend_," he said, testing the waters.

She looked up then and pouted. While it had been fun to (mostly) hang out with James that day, it wasn't a full-fledged date. The boys interrupted, and there wasn't exactly any private places to be. She didn't like Madame Puddifoot's (and he was grateful).

"All right, Potter, take me out tonight," she said, still perusing her book.

"All right, I will," he said, sounding as if it was an actual challenge.

"Good. And it better be good," she said, knowing that she was antagonizing him.

"Best date you've ever had," he said, now pretending to be studying. He then watched her a moment before quickly moving his position so that he was over her. He kissed her before she could object.

"James…" she said between kisses, "James… I really need to stud-…" She could easily hex him off of her or give a good shove, but instead she wrapped her arms around him and melted into the kiss.

Finally she pulled away and said, "Okay, if I'm going to be able to do something tonight, I really need to study." She gave him a look that meant business.

He pulled himself up and said with a smile, "Ok, I'll leave you alone since you obviously can't keep your hands off me."

"Oh!" she said, sending a mild stinging hex his way.

James laughed as he jumped away. He then leaned down and gave her another kiss before heading back to the castle. Her smile lingered as she watched him go.

He wouldn't tell her anything of what they were going to be doing. All she knew was to be dressed and ready by seven in the Heads' common room.

When she came down the stairs she smiled at his appearance. He looked a bit like what a muggle guy would look like when going on a nice date: slacks, dress shirt, and tie. She blushed as his eyes followed her down the stairs and finally into the common room. Mini-dresses were all the rage in Muggle London, and she never had the chance to wear them anymore. It made her a bit self-conscious, though, when he looked at her like that.

"You… wow…" was all he managed to say.

She giggled nervously and said, "Wow yourself. You clean up nicely. Except for the hair. Do you muss it up purposely still?" She smirked.

"Oh…no. It just doesn't stay flat. Honest," he said, and now it was his turn to feel self-conscious.

She smiled at how he seemed to be blushing. She walked the rest of the way to him, stopped, and ran a hand through his hair. "It's all right. I like it messy," she said quietly.

He smiled and locked eyes with her. His arms began wrapping around her. "Oh yeah, I thought you always hated that."

"I hated that you would do it on your own a lot," she said, correcting him. She dropped the stern act and smirked, wrapping her own arms around his neck. "But I like it when it's naturally that way. It's right sexy."

James smirked and leaned towards her, "Oh yeah?"

She smiled and nodded, closing her eyes as he leaned in and kissed her.

He couldn't believe she had just said his hair was sexy. He actually still couldn't believe he was kissing her or that they were about to go on a date. Date. Right.

James pulled away and said, "We've gotta stop or I won't be able to make it out of here."

Lily giggled as he led her out of the room and down the corridors. She had no idea where he was going, especially when he stopped and paced back and forth three times.

"Are you all right, James?" she said just as a door appeared. Lily looked at it wide-eye and mouth agape.

James grinned a cheeky grin. "Just peachy."

He grabbed her hand and led her through. The room looked more like a courtyard. There was a slight breeze and what should be ceiling was instead a sky full of stars.

"Wow…." she said as she looked around. James looked pretty pleased with himself as he led her to a table. It took until after a few house elves came and went to serve them and for their appetizer to arrive before she completely snapped out of her awe.

"Where are we?" she finally asked.

He shrugged and said, "I dunno. It has a lot of names. First found it when Filch was chasing after me and I needed to hide. Then found it when… um… needed another place to hide…" _Shit, shit, don't talk about old girlfriends_, "and then one time all four of us needed to hide. Each time it was in this same place and each time it looked differently. Finally realized it turns into a room with almost anything you need."

Lily rested her elbow on the table and chin in her hand as she surveyed the courtyard room. James stared at her wistfully. Her hair and creamy skin looked even more beautiful in the faux moonlight.

James thought the night was going pretty well. He told her more about Sirius living at home with him and tried to explain what all the fuss was about Quidditch. She explained why she wanted to be an Unspeakable. He told her about some of the Marauders' more innocent pranks, which had her almost in stitches. They vowed to find Remus a date. They recounted some of the lighter moments of their lessons that week.

She was in the middle of telling him about her sister's wedding plans when the meal was finished. Out of no where soft jazz music began playing, and James stood up and gave her his hand. He wasn't an outstanding dancer by any means, but he could somewhat keep with the beat, and he could definitely handle slow dancing. James continued to ask about Petunia as they danced.

"Oh and the dresses are this horrid burnt orange color because she thought it was better for fall. I'm going to absolutely disgusting," she said with a light laugh.

"That's not possible, Lils," he said, and she merely rolled her eyes.

"You haven't seen the dress. It's perfect for them really. Both are rude, incorrigible, and have bad tastes," she said, sounding a bit bitter.

"Ouch, Lils. Something you need to vent?" he asked.

She sighed and rested her head on his chest. "No. I just… we used to be close. Ever since I came to Hogwarts, though, she's been just awful to me. This wedding is going to be painful." She then looked up suddenly and said, "Go with me, James."

James smirked with a raised eyebrow, "Well since you are making it sound like so much fun…"

"I'm sorry, I know, but please? I know it seems like no fun at all because my sister and her fiancé are rather harsh and you probably wouldn't want to meet my family but… I really would love it if you did. It would make facing it so much easier to have you to laugh about it with. Please, James, please? For me?" she said with almost a look of desperation.

She had him at the first please. Yes, her sister sounded a bit annoying, but meeting the family sealed the deal. She was confident enough in them to suggest meeting her family? "Sure you want me to meet the family?" he asked, testing the waters yet again.

"Please, my parents will love you, and Petunia would hate anyone I was dating," she said, looking hopeful.

James tried to conceal his grin. "Sure. Sure, I'll go to the wedding."

"Thank you!" she exclaimed as she held onto him tighter. James was almost beaming as they continued to dance closely.

He wasn't sure how long they danced silently before she looked back up at him, boring into his eyes.

Simultaneously they leaned towards each other, and they continued to sway gently as they kissed. Soon they stopped swaying as hands roamed and hair was messed up. Lily was gently tugging at his tie to pull him closer as James's hands roamed over her backside. Tongues clashed and James was unsure when his shirt became untucked, but one of Lily's small hands was up the back of it.

Around then was when a bed appeared. Lily pulled away and stared at it. James looked back at it as well, and couldn't remember specifically thinking they needed it. By the look on Lily's face, she was also unsure if she had thought she wanted it. She nervously laughed and looked down at her feet. Her hair was a mess and her dress had ridden up. James shirt was untucked and his tie was loosened. His hair looked even more disheveled than normal.

"Um… I don't know who-" James started.

"Me neither," Lily finished.

"We don't have to…"

"Right, no. Not at all."

"If you want we could just…lay… there… It is getting late…"

She smiled a little and nodded. "Right. We can control ourselves." He nodded too to reassure her.

He took her hand and gently kissed her before lying down. They kicked off their shoes before climbing under the covers. She snuggled against his chest and looked up at the faux sky.

"It's so beautiful…" she said.

James was gently running his hand through her hair as he kissed her forehead. "Yup," he said plainly and blissfully.

After a few moments Lily looked back up at James and kissed him again. It started off slow but soon enough the passion picked up. Lily had pulled James on top of her and hands were exploring again. Lily pulled off James's tie and unbuttoned his shirt, and James removed his hands from Lily's legs just long enough to get his arms out of the sleeves. His hands were back at her thighs, her hem increasingly moving towards her hips as his lips attached to her neck. Lily's breath quickened as her hands slid down his back and one of his hands slid up her stomach. He groaned as his hand slipped under bra, and she arched as he reached a particularly sensitive spot. Her legs instinctively widened to accommodate him and James tried to remain in control as she ground against him.

"Lils…" he muttered, knowing he was going kick himself later for what he was about to say, but knowing he would regret it more if he didn't say it. "Lils… if we don't stop soon…it'll be hard to.." She arched again and it almost did him in.

She then noticed that the bottom of her dress was completely bunch at her waist now, and she could now feel how excited he was. Her mind was becoming more mush and she sighed. "You're right… it will…" she said as she tried to regain her breath.

She removed her hands from his torso and tried to pull down her dress. James groaned as he rolled away from her. He closed his eyes as he tried to calm down, and Lily tried to untangle her hair.

When he opened his eyes again and looked over at her she was smiling demurely. She had been a little worried at first that he was just in it for the chase, and that once he started dating her he would get bored and break it off. He was trying very hard to take it slow, though, and she appreciated it.

She climbed out of bed and slipped into her shoes. She then held out her hand and said, "You know, I'm exhausted. Want… want to go to bed?"

James stared at her for a moment before grabbing his shirt and tie and climbing out of bed himself.

"Yeah… I'm beat, too," he said as he put on his shoes. He could tell she wasn't ready to move too far physically yet, but he could definitely settle for going with her to weddings and sleeping in the same bed every once in a while.

After he redressed they left the mysterious room hand-in-hand. As they got closer to their dormitories he slipped an arm around her. She was contemplating aloud what kind of magic would be necessary to make a room like that, and he smiled at her curiosity. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the top of the head.

"What was that for?" she asked as she wrapped an arm around his waist.

He shrugged with a smile. "Nothing," he said.

She smiled back and said, "You know, you were right. That was the best date I've ever hard."

She was surprised his grin wasn't smug or cheeky. Instead, he simply said, "That just means the next one will have to be the best date you've ever had."

She gave him a "be realistic" look and said, "James. You can't try to top each date. You'll either stress yourself out or disappoint yourself."

"Oh ye of little faith," he said shaking his head.

"Seriously, James, you don't need to outdo yourself with every date. Everything doesn't need to be over the top," she said earnestly.

James looked at her incredulously. "Who said anything about being over the top? I just plan on always beating the last date."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You are a little ridiculous, you know. Sweet, but ridiculous. You're really going to try to always outdo yourself?"

He smirked and said, "Well I am my own biggest competition."

They reached the portrait hole then. "You are insufferable!" she exclaimed before saying the password.

James grinned and swaggered into the common room before sauntering up behind her and following her to his side of the dormitories.


	14. First, Denial

_Author's note: All right, the next three are a series. Hope you like them. Thanks for the reviews!! Keep them coming!_

Remus watched as Tonks tripped over the umbrella stand. She did it every time. He smirked a little before turning back to Molly. She was talking about another room and its problems and Remus really just wasn't paying attention. Tonks's hair was just past her shoulders and a mousey brown. Other than her hair there was something else that was off, and he couldn't tell what it was, but he liked it.

He tried to pay attention to Molly, but it wasn't working. He finally excused himself and walked up to Tonks while she was making some tea.

"Wotcher Remus," she said with a smile. "What's up with Molly?

"Oh, nothing. There's a mold that she apparently can't get rid of," Remus said as he poured himself some tea.

"Gripping, Remus. Really," she said with a smirk as she sipped her tea.

"Where did you just come from?" he asked, trying very hard not to reappraise her.

"Oh, I had to do go undercover tonight and Mad-Eye said I should be more subtle so…" she then motioned to her hair. "I decided to just go natural."

He couldn't help but smile. "That's your natural color? I like it."

She blushed and tried to pour some tea, but ended up tipping her cup and spilling the tea on herself and the countertop. "Oh… bugger it all.." she groaned.

Remus chuckled. He felt warm as he tried to help her clean up.

And that's when it hit him. It was quite possible that he was in love with Tonks. Of course, it made no sense. After months of awkwardly flirting, they had just begun dating. They hadn't even told anyone about their relationship.

He could hear Lily in his head telling him about how you just know. How at first you might not believe it, but you know. She told him she wanted to completely freak out about it, and he suddenly understood that feeling.

* * *

"I have red hair and I'm wearing a brown and orange dress. I look like a fall leaf, James," Lily said sternly.

James was smirking and said, "Fall leaves are supposed to be… pretty.. right?"

Lily looked up at him and said, "I look like a dead leaf."

James laughed and Lily smiled in return. He gave her a twirl and she giggled some more.

Petunia and Vernon seemed to hate James, as expected. Lily received dirty looks all night. James did a good job of charming her parents, though. He was polite and gracious and didn't say anything inappropriate. When her cousin Elizabeth came over and talked to them, Lily thought James was completely adorable.

"Want to see magic?" he asked after a few minutes of humoring her questions. Elizabeth smiled and nodded, and Lily went into panic mode.

"James…" she warned.

He then pulled a knut from behind Elizabeth's ear and Lily smirked. When Elizabeth giggled and ran away, Lily sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"That was really cliché and cheesy," she said with a smile. "But adorable." She then gave him a kiss on the cheek.

James looked proud of himself and said, "Come on Lily, I'm not stupid. I wouldn't have done real magic…."

"So, you're going to go tell her it's fake toy money then since they don't have knuts?" she asked. James stared at for a moment as it dawned on him.

"Ah shite…" he said before getting up.

Lily laughed as she watched him.

"So, you really like him?" Lily's mum said as she sat down.

"Mum, I'm not talking to you about James," Lily said, smiling and rolling her eyes.

"Oh, you can tell me, Lily-pad."

Lily watched James some more and said, "I don't know, mum. We've just been dating a couple of months. If I didn't like him I wouldn't have brought him."

Her mother smiled as Lily continued to watch James. "Well, he's a nice boy."

Lily smiled a bit wistfully and said, "Yeah… he is."

Mrs. Evans rubbed her hands a bit nervously before saying. "Now, Lily, do you have some sort of spell or potion to make sure you don't become…" she rolled her hand a few times.

Lily instantly looked at her mom and widened her eyes. "Mum!"

"I just want to make sure you two are safe, if you decide to, which you shouldn't.. but if you do I understand and you can talk to me…." her mother said, placing a hand on Lily's knee.

"Ugh, mum, I really don't want to talk about that! Don't worry, you will not be having grandchildren anytime soon," Lily said, hoping her mother would just stop talking.

"Are you sure because…" her mother said, and Lily tried to shoo her off because James was coming back.

When James sat back down he glanced over at Lily's mother and said, "So did your mum talk about me? Does she like me?"

"No," Lily instantly said. "I mean… not everything's about you, Potter." She laughed a bit nervously and said, "And yes, she likes you."

James smiled and nodded. "Good… good…"

Lily laughed and wrapped her arm around his. "Why do you care so much?"

He shrugged and said, "I just want your parents to like me."

She smiled and glanced back at Elizabeth. "So… did Elizabeth like-"

"The toy fairy money? Yeah, I think that made the magic better," James said and Lily snuck a kiss.

She pulled him back up for another dance. The music was slow and soon she was resting her head against his chest.

And then she knew. She knew she did really like him. She had an idea about why he was on his best behavior and cared so much about what her parents thought.

But she couldn't. They had only been dating two months. It didn't matter that he made her feel like goo when they kissed or that he knew how to make her laugh but would still listen to her whine about her sister or that she loved that he was her boyfriend as she watched him that night or how the way he looked at her made her feel. No, this was just puppy love like in that Donnie Osmond song that she and her friends listened to the summer after her first year at Hogwarts. It was far too soon to be real love.


	15. Second, Fear

And then I was too afraid to say it… Remus could hear Lily say.

Remus was petrified. Tonks was resting against his chest as they both tried to read books. She was failing because she was exhausted from a mission she just got back from, and he was failing because he was suddenly petrified. He was all wrong for her. He was too old, too poor, too dangerous. He couldn't tell her he loved her. He shouldn't love her. It wasn't fair to her.

* * *

Lily was walking down the hall with Marlene towards the library. Second term had started, and NEWTs were looking even more forebearing. She stopped however when they heard a lot of yelling from outside.

"Ugh, can you put Head Girl duties on hold one time Lily…" Marlene groaned, not wanting to have see Lily reprimand a few stupid third years or clash between houses or whatever it was.

James was a part of it. His wand was raised but he was waving it around as he yelled at the other bloke. She recognized him to be a Ravenclaw in their year.

Lily stepped into the snow and began to walk up behind him.

"Look, who gives a shit? You saw the paper. He killed the whole lot of them just because Mr. Wheeler was a half-blood who publicly spoke up against him. You really think it's smart to go up against him?" the Ravenclaw asked incredulously. Some people in the crowd seemed to agree with the Ravenclaw while some looked enraged and some unsure and scared of both.

"Who said anything about what is smart? I'm talking about what it is right. He's after our classmates and our parents and wizards and witches just because they're born to muggle parents. You can't help who you're born to and it doesn't make a bit of difference anyway!" James yelled in response. He looked like he might hex someone at any moment.

"That's easy for you to say! You're a pureblood!" the Ravenclaw retorted.

"It doesn't matter and I plan on fighting this! Why don't you stop thinking about your self and do what's right? Huh? All that blood stuff doesn't matter at all. Look…" he said, looking wildly around, "Look at Sam Caldwell. She's muggleborn and she's one of the best flyers at Hogwarts right now. And… Richard Stinson last year was better than anyone in the past two years at Transfiguration. And Lily Evans-" Lily had almost reached them and stopped in her tracks, "she's bloody brilliant. She's the smartest girl in our class and one of the best at potions and charms, and she's a muggleborn. She's inferior to anyone, especially that deranged murderer. It doesn't mean shite and we can't just sit back while Voldemort," she noticed people cringe "and his deranged cronies kill our classmates and friends just because he's absolutely mental. It'll be hard and really dangerous but you have to stand up to it. Even if you don't join him… if you don't fight him, fight them, it's just the same. We have to prove a point and stop it," he yelled, but this time to the whole group.

A Hufflepuff girl said, "You'll get yourself killed! Even if you're a pureblood they won't care if you align yourself against him."

"Maybe," James said, and Lily had rarely seen him look so serious. "But I have to fight against it. I couldn't stand to sit back and read everyday about my friends being tortured and killed, especially over things they have no control over. I couldn't stand to read about innocent people that I don't know being tortured and killed over their status. Some of those have had the cruciatus curse on them. Cruciatus! It's not in me to sit back and watch as we let the Wizarding world go to hell."

The girl nodded and looked down. She appeared to be struggling with it in her mind.

Lily stared at how resolute James was. He sighed and messed with the hair on the back of his head.

"Look just… break it up and go study or… something," he said and the crowd began to disband. When he turned around he saw Lily standing there, eyes watering.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and said, "They were arguing over the Wheelers' deaths yesterday. People were getting upset…I was just going to break it up but… but I had to try and make them see how important it is…"

She walked over to him, took a hold of his scarf, and kissed him. When they pulled away James rubbed his chin thoughtfully and said, "I knew there was a reason why I did my job…" he laughed and noticed the serious look on her face. "What's up, Lils?"

She smiled, even though it faltered a little, and said, "Nothing. I just… I… think you're a great guy. Amazing, really." She couldn't say it. She realized she was afraid to.

James smiled goofily and said as he wrapped his arms around her, "Well… you know I think you're amazing."

She bit the inside of her lip and nodded. "Come on…" she said, a little annoyed with herself that she couldn't say it. "Let's go inside. It's cold."

She wasn't sure where that Gryffindor courage was.


	16. Eventually, No Hiding

"Bugger!" he heard Tonks yell from downstairs.

Remus smiled fondly. "Evening, Dora," he yelled in greeting.

She came into the kitchen and plopped down at the table. "I missed the meeting, didn't I?" she asked with a sigh.

"You did, indeed," he said, looking amused

"Argh! Fudge is making me batty! If I have to do one more mission to find Sirius that is just a waste of time when we COULD be seeking Death Eaters…," she said angrily.

"You'll do what?" he asked good naturedly.

"Nothing. I can't do anything. It's so frustrating," she said with a sigh.

He held his hand out to her, she took it, and he pulled her into his lap. "You're getting information for the Order. You're not doing 'nothing.'"

His arms were wrapped around her and she rested her arms on top of his. "I guess." There was some silence before she said, "Are you nervous about your trip in a couple of days?" She looked nervous.

"A little, I guess," he lied.

She traced his jawline and said, "Well if they don't see reason with you then they're completely daft."

He smiled and held her tighter. It was going to be dangerous work, and he knew that it worried her. She went on missions all of the time and her job was to seek out Dark Wizards, but it scared her that he would be meeting with werewolves who didn't control their condition like him and were bitter and angry. He sighed. "You're going to be great," she whispered as she stroked his arm with her thumb. She thought that his mission was what he was sighing about.

He smiled though, and couldn't hold it in anymore. He couldn't hide it. He had to let her know how he felt. An old friend's voice filled his head again.

"Nymphadora-" he whispered, and he was interrupted by a groan.

"Don't call me that Remus. You know I hate my first name and you do it just to bug me, I know! Want me to find out what annoys the hell out of you and…"

He smiled. "I love you, Dora."

That shut her up.

* * *

"James!" Lily yelled as she tried to rush down to the field.

James was a complete idiot! He was trying to make a goal when he noticed the Ravenclaw seeker was closer to catching the Snitch. So he dove to get in the way. He dove and was hit by a bludger and knocked off his broom. When Sirius and Lily reached him, he had a broken arm and was bleeding from the head.

"Oh, God," she said, a hand to her mouth. By the time Remus and Peter made it McGonnagall was trying to push the students away. There was a faint bit of blood in the snow. He appeared to also have a broken rib.

Lily waited impatiently outside of the hospital wing. "He is such an idiot!" she yelled.

"Lils, he'll be fine. He's been in bad scrapes before," Sirius said reassuredly.

She rounded on him. "Yeah! Because he's an idiot!" Sirius held his hands up in surrender

Remus took that as his turn. "Well, he's a lucky idiot. It's just a broken arm and rib, he came to… he probably just has a concussion. You'll have plenty of time to yell at him soon."

She glared at Remus, and he decided to stop talking as well.

They boys were relieved when Madame Pomfrey came out. When the boys first came to school, Pomfrey was fairly good-tempered and not strict about the rules at all. Now, they knew she would probably allow only one visitor in… and they were glad that James was good enough to be taking visitors and that visitor would be a moody Lily.

She walked in, arms crossed with a glare. "What were you doing?"

James smiled cheekily and said, "Well it's good to see you, too, Lils. Oh, I'm just dandy. Thanks for asking."

"You could have gotten yourself killed!" she exclaimed.

"Nah, people have survived worse falls. Besides Dumbledore has great reflexes and I hit snow. I was fine," he said with a shrug.

"You're not fine, James! You have a broken arm and rib and you were unconscious! That's not fine!" she said, yelling now.

James still just smiled. "I like how worked up you're getting over my welfare. It's cute, Lils."

"Yeah? That's because I…" and there it was. It was on the tip of her tongue. "I…" She sat down next to him on the bed, and the look on her face worried James. "I think I'm in love with you, James."

James stared at her in shock. "Think.. You think… hm?"

She knew it was a mistake. She couldn't say the L word first! Of course he would freak out. "Well, I know actually." She shrugged and said simply, "I love you."

James was grinning from ear to ear, and it made Lily giggle in relief. He grabbed her with his good arm and pulled her toward him. As he kissed her he whispered, "I love you too. Always have…" He pulled her in tighter and she was pressed against his healing arm and rib. He winced and groaned.

"James! I'm too close. I'm hurting you," she said as she tried to pull away, still smiling.

"I don't care," he said with a laugh. She laughed with him as she resumed the snog.


	17. Inherited Moodiness

"He's so bloody moody! There's no award for who can brood the most, so he should just grow up already!" Ginny exclaimed, completely frustrated, as she flopped onto the couch.

"Well… he does have a right to be testy doesn't he…" Hermione said tentatively.

"Oh, poor me, I can see into Voldemort's mind without being possessed and I ended up saving someone… again. Mmm, no. He's just taking the whole world onto himself again," Ginny said, sounding more annoyed.

Sirius watched from the other side of the living room amused. He thought it was funny that the youngest Weasley was the only one not content with letting Harry throw himself into moody fits.

Remus walked over then and Sirius said, "Ten galleons they get together."

Remus had one hand in his pocket and held a cup of coffee in the other. "By when?" he asked.

Sirius shrugged and said, "I don't know. Eventually."

Remus sipped his coffee and said, "Not much of a bet if I agree with you."

Sirius chuckled and asked, "Any idea where Harry gets the moodiness from?"

Remus smirked. "Both?"

* * *

They had just had their first real fight. Sure they squabbled over bathroom times or bringing people into the common room when one of them (Lily) was studying or when James had grated Lily's nerve a little too much while she was working on something. They might end up giving each other a little space, but a full on row with each of them snapping at the other hadn't happened.

"Hello Evans," James said as he walked into the bathroom.

"Oh, we're going by last names now, are we?" she said with an eye roll.

James smiled, but it wasn't the one she was used to. "Just want to brush my teeth and leave before I miss snogging all of Gryffindor. Oh, sorry. I guess I should try Ravenclaw now. Wait- Marlene's free…"

Lily stared straight ahead as she did her makeup charms. "Well that's nice of you to brush your teeth before. You do have truly awful morning breath." She was trying hard not to take the bait.

"I'll be sure to remember that the next time you want to just snog and cuddle in the morning."

"You're making that doubtful to ever happen again!" she spat. He looked at her for a moment as he brushed his teeth. The look on his face made her instantly regret she said that, but she was too proud to say anything else. Instead, she silently continued to get ready. She only stopped when he left the bathroom without a word.

Two days ago James was tutoring Claire Withers. Lily already hated how much Claire would flirt with James, so when she saw him tutoring her she told him off later that night. While James hadn't really purposely flirted with Claire, he did banter more than he would have if he had known Lily had been there. Lily was angry he hadn't told her that he was tutoring Claire now, even though he knew how much Lily disliked Claire. James told her she didn't need to be so uptight.

And that's when the levy broke. Lily yelled at him for still being "stupid and immature" most days, even though it kept her laughing and happy most days. James ripped into her about being a tightass who didn't know how to have fun sometimes when she mocked the banter between him and Claire.

"Well excuse me if it's hard to tell. I can't help but be suspicious when you've snogged half the girls in our year and fooled around with how many others?" she yelled.

"It's not like I shagged them or you gave me the time of day then Lily, so you need to get off your high horse and mingle with the rest of us ok? So I'm not some… perfect.. cookie cutter… boring bloke like every other guy you've dated but you've got to be mental if you think I was flirting with Claire or would ever want her or anyone else over you," he yelled back with some exasperation.

"Oh so I'm uptight and crazy now, hm?" she said coolly as she crossed her arms. She knew she was being irrational but watching Claire attempt to flirt with James for the past couple of weeks had her at her wit's end.

"Argh! No! Merlin you're…. argh…" he said, knowing better than to finish the sentence.

Then every little annoyance either one of them had ever had in the relationship came out.

"Can you EVER be on time?" Lily yelled once.

"I can't always drop everything for you Lily. I'm not your house-elf to be at your beckon call. I have friends, too," said as he stalked off towards his room. He stopped abruptly when she yelled at him for quitting during the fight.

The result was two days of them stewing. Of course, it is a lot easier to fight with someone when you didn't share a bathroom or common room with them. It was also easier when you didn't now have a somewhat common group of friends and when said friends were trying to push you back together. Three days later, a silent rounds made it worse.

James nearly hexed Snape into oblivion when he tried to reignite their friendship.

"I don't want to say I told you so. Well, actually, of course I do…" Snape whispered in potions class. He was unfortunately her partner that day.

"We're not broken up, Severus," she said back, glancing over to James. He tried to act like he was busy with the potions.

"But you probably will be," Snape said, testing the waters.

"Look. We're not best friends any more so I'm not telling you a thing. Now shut it and put in the next ingredient," she said coolly as she checked the consistency of the potion.

"It's about time, is all," he said, his cool voice fading away. "You.. deserve better."

Lily shook her head and said, "I'm not doing this. Severus, I love him and you're… you're just going to have to get over it."

James tried to conceal his smile when Remus elbowed him hard. He pretended to work on their potion, but he snuck looks at Lily.

"You can't love him. He's… he's…" Snape seethed.

"He's really great, if not a stupid prat every once in a while." She then began packing up her materials. "You have no say, Severus. I can love him, and I do." She then stood up and put a hand to her head, looking squeamish. "Professor Slughorn… I feel faint and sick. May I be excused to the hospital wing? Maybe it's the fumes…"

Slughorn quickly walked over to Lily and James kept glancing up and then away to see what was going on. "Well, that's not like you. You must be sick," he said, sounding concerned. She nodded. "Very well. Mr. Snape, finish this potion. Both your grades depend on it. Miss Evans, be sure to go straight to the hospital wing."

She nodded again and slung her bag on her shoulder, not looking back as she left.

By the time class was over and James could make it to the hospital wing, she was gone, if she had even been there in the first place.

He was in a sour mood the rest of the day. The guys said they didn't want to be around either of them. They were sick of the moodiness.

For the first time in a few days Lily was studying on the couch in their common room that night. James was surprised to see her there.

"Hey, Lils," he said, breaking the silence first.

"Hello," was all she said, not even looking up from her books. At least she didn't have an angry tone, he thought.

"Are you feeling better? I went to the hospital wing but you were gone…"

"You checked on me?" she asked, looking up from her studying now.

James rubbed the back of his neck. "Erm, yeah. Straight after potions but you were already gone."

"James your next class is on the other side of the castle. You barely make it in time as it is," she said, still sounding surprised that he checked on her.

James shrugged, tentatively walking towards her. "Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. You never get sick from potions' fumes. I was only a few minutes late."

He noticed as the icy façade he had witnessed over the past week melted. "Did you get in trouble?"

"Just a detention," he said. He was shuffling his feet now.

She sighed and looked down. He didn't know what to do. She looked back up at him and said, "Well then why did you do that when you know McGonagall would give you a detention?"

James was now getting annoyed. "I'm sorry if I wanted to make sure you were okay. No. No I'm not sorry. I had to watch you partnered with that arse saying 'I told you so' and then you seemed sick and so I'm not sorry that I got a bloody detention to make sure you were okay."

She chuckled, but it wasn't the good kind. "Oh, you eavesdropped? That's mature."

James groaned. "You are driving me mental!" he said angrily.

She stood up and yelled, "Well you're driving me mental too! I don't understand you. I don't understand how you can flirt with a girl you know wants to jump you and give her private tutoring lessons and just not tell me-"

"Because I knew you would get bent out of shape like you are now…"

"And I don't understand," Lily continued, "How you can still not take school as seriously as you should when this all determines what job you'll get or how you can be so reckless and most of the time not think of the consequences or how you have absolutely no concept of time or how you still act like a 13 year old boy with your friends or how you can blame me for not being able to act like a 13 year old boy with them as much when I am in now way keeping you with me. I would enjoy seeing my friends more than I do, too James."

James shook his head and laughed and said, "You're not perfect, Lily. I don't know why you have to hold this grudge… why you can't just let it go.. why we have to fight about this ALL OVER again but fine! Why don't you take the stick out of your arse? Merlin you won't let things go and you're so bloody judgmental. I have never had to second guess myself so much as when I'm with you." He was surprised that she looked pained by that, so he continued. "And a lot of the times I shouldn't, but some times I know it's for good reason and I'm trying Lily, I'm trying to be the best person I can be. You make me want to but I just can't live up to that all the time!"

She didn't respond and the silence was worse than when they were yelling. Finally, he said, "Is there anything else about me that you just can't stand?"

"James…" she said with a sigh, and he regretted his choice of words. "I just don't understand how one minute you can seem so immature and then the next minute you're getting a detention because you gambled on the off-chance in seeing me in the hospital wing. I mean I know you don't think detentions are a big deal…"

James tried not to look annoyed. "It's not like I love them, Lily. I'd rather not be stuck in detention when I could be with the guys or with you."

She snorted. "After this week you'd rather be with me?

He tried to figure out what she was getting at. He couldn't believe that she would actually be insecure in herself or in their relationship when it came to her. He thought he made it abundantly clear how he felt. "Always," was all he said.

She looked away from him and he cautiously approached her. "Look, Lils, you drive me crazy sometimes and I know I drive you crazy. But you keep me from being a complete idiot and I keep you from being a complete hard ass," he said as he smiled a little when she chuckled. He took her hand and she finally looked up. "We're going to fight. But… I love you. So I'm going to risk a detention to make sure you're ok even if we're in a big fight."

She nodded and looked down again, and he tipped her chin up. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. She smiled and squeezed his hand.

"So you're really okay with me telling you when you're being an immature prat?" she asked.

He smirked and said, "If you're okay with me telling you when you're being an uptight git."

She laughed and he kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry about Claire. I didn't want you to get jealous and upset."

She nodded and said, "It's all right. You just… you have to tell me that stuff James. Otherwise it looks like you're trying to hide it."

"Ok, ok. I will. But, Lils, I love you. There's not going to be anyone else, I promise," he said.

She wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head into his chest. "Mmm, I missed you," she said quietly.

He smiled and rested his head on top of hers. "Yeah?"

She nodded and looked up at him. "I wanted to hex you into next week but… I still had this ache because you weren't around."

James still couldn't believe that she was saying this sort of stuff to him. Even though they had been fighting for about a week, he felt lucky. She stared back at him, and it looked like she was trying to figure out what he was thinking.

To give her a hint, he leaned down and kissed her passionately. He had missed her lips, her vanilla smell. He missed running his fingers through her auburn hair and the feel of her fingers running up his back. When she picked up her fervor in kissing him, she walked back so that she was sitting on the couch again, pulling him down with her. He broke from the kiss long enough to charm the couch to be wider before resuming the snog.

Soon enough she was unbuttoning his shirt and he was trying to tug her jumper off of her. He groaned as he slid a hand up her thigh and realized her skirt was bunched at her hips. She was thinking of little else other than how much she missed James's lips on her neck and his hands running all over her body. Her mind was foggy and she barely noticed when she was only in her skirt and knickers. As James's hands roamed Lily felt her breath catch and couldn't help but arch into him. She vaguely remembered undoing his belt or unbuttoning his slacks.

She felt her bare skin rub against his and she knew that if they didn't stop she wouldn't be able to or want to, but she still had this feeling that they should stop. "James…" she muttered. Her fingers were entangled in his hair as he kissed down her chest. It appeared he didn't realize she was trying to get his attention.

"James," she repeated, this time pushing at his shoulders to push him off of her.

He sat up and looked at her confused. "I just, I can't. I'm sorry. I want to, I really do. Trust me. I just…" she blushed, "this is probably silly but I don't want our first time," _my first time,_ "to be just make-up sex."

He sat up more and smirked. "Well, it wouldn't be_ just_ make-up sex…"

"I know. And I realize sex isn't this incredibly special thing like you see in the movies, erm, or hear about, but I still-" she felt incredibly self-conscious. She knew he had more experience than her in that area, and she still had these naïve romantic ideal.

He leaned down and kissed her and said, "No, it will with you. I don't want you to regret it. It's okay."

He took some deep breaths and began scrounging for his clothes. In the process he handed her her shirt and jumper. "Do me a favor and cover up though," he said with a smile.

She blushed as she grabbed her bra as well and redressed. He pulled her over to him once they were both dressed and they laid together on the couch. "I'm sorry," she said again.

"Lils, don't say you're sorry. I'm forbidding you from saying you're sorry," he said.

She looked up with a cocked eyebrow. "Forbidding me?"

He gave her a cheeky grin and said, "Yup."

She laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "I missed you," she said before grabbing her history of magic assignment to read and snuggling up against him.


	18. The Strongest Patronus

Remus poured himself a drink and sat down at his desk. It was hard teaching Harry the patronus. He knew what Harry heard every time a Dementor came around. He wanted to do more than just teach him a spell. He wanted to tell Harry everything about his parents, but he couldn't. If Harry knew how close he had been to Harry's parents, he would ask more questions about them and Sirius and their death and it was best for him not to know any more on the subject of Sirius.

Remus took a big swig of his Firewhiskey. He was on his third. He would still never understand how Sirius could have killed James, Lily, and Peter. He sighed as memories came back.

A flicker of a smile appeared as he rethought today's practice and James own bout with expecto patronum.

* * *

"You can't be running around at almost midnight. Haven't you read the Prophet at all?" Lily asked the two third years sternly.

They nodded their head and looked scared.

"It is past curfew, and at a dangerous time, too," she said, hands on hips. "Ten points from Ravenclaw. Each."

The two boys groaned and Lily arched an eyebrow. "And you better run back to your tower because if I or any prefect sees you tonight it will be double. This isn't the time to be reckless."

They groaned again before hurrying off in the direction of Ravenclaw Tower. She sighed.

"Have I ever told you how cute you are when you're telling someone off?" she heard James say.

She turned around to see him leaning on a wall behind her.

"Back to stalking, Potter? I thought we've come so far," she said, annoyance still in her voice but relaxation taking over her at the sight of him.

"Well, we had plans to hang out together tonight so I thought I would come find you," he said with a smirk as he walked over to her.

"Did we?" she asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Ok, I had plans of us hanging out together," he replied and she giggled.

"How did you find me on the 5th floor in the southwest corridor? There's not exactly anything nearby that might give me a reason to be here," she asked, her arms resting on his shoulders.

"I knew you were patrolling so I guess I took a chance," he said, but she didn't buy it.

"James, you're lying. I can tell. And you only do it when it comes to "marauder" stuff or if there's a girl involved. Spill," she said with a crooked eyebrow.

James tried to shrug it off. "No I'm not, Lils. I just happened to go to the right corridor at the right time."

She sighed and unwrapped her arms. "I thought we were going to be less secretive." The two had been doing very well since their big fight, which just made her worry more when he appeared to be holding back the truth.

James watched her for a moment, but her disappointed look didn't go away.

He sighed and said, "All right, come on." He grabbed her hand and led her all the way back to their common room and to his dormitory.

Lily crossed her arms and stopped at the entrance as he walked to his desk. "If you think you will still be wooing me you're wrong."

"I'm not trying to woo you," he said as he walked back over to her. "Or at least not yet. I'm showing you how I knew." He handed her an old but clean scrap of parchment.

She looked down at the paper and then back up at James with a 'what are you playing at?' look. "James, how did you find me with a piece of clean parchment?"

But then words appeared. "Messr. Prongs thinks you might be a pretty thing but you're very cynical."

She gasped. "What is this? Can it tell what I say? What…. Do you just ask a question and it tells the answer? Wait, Mr. Prongs…"

"Messr. Padfoot does not understand Messr. Prongs's infatuation with an uptight bird who asks too many questions."

James smirked.

"What is this, James?" she asked.

James tapped his wand and merely said, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."

The ink changed and the beginnings of a map appeared. Lily opened up the parchment with wide eyes and watched as the map of the castle appeared, complete with the footsteps of professors and students. "James… this is brilliant… you did this?"

James tried very hard to sound nonchalant. "Remus did all of the charms with the map or at least the research for it. Sirius and I came up with the opening and how to make it go away. Peter surprisingly came up with the idea. He was worried about us getting in trouble and said if only we could know where everyone was at all times…"

Lily continued to stare at it before her brow furrowed. "There aren't any privacy laws you're breaking, are there?"

James shrugged, hands in pockets. "Haven't really thought about it."

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. She looked down at the parchment and stared at wonder again. "This really is incredible James. You're so talented."

"I had help," James replied, and he was met with a bigger smile.

"You know, sometimes I feel like I still don't know you at all. How did I not know about this? You should have told me when you showed me the cloak," she said and James looked worried.

"Er, I dunno. I'm sorry, Lils, it's just marauder stuff. If you got mad they'd get in trouble too, you know?" he said.

She smirked and walked back to him and handed him the map. "Well, I am mad."

Shite, he thought. The smirk grew and she said, "I mean, we could have really used that and the cloak together to our advantage before tonight."

James understood the smirk now. He wrapped his arms around her waist and said, "I think we did pretty well before."

"Mmm but we could always do better, right?" she said as she looked up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I like the way you think," he said. "Oh, and mischief managed." The map cleared, and he tossed it onto the chair.

She bit her lip and shook her head with a mirthful smile.

"No?" he asked, surprised. She shook her head. He immediately kissed her.

Once they broke for breath he rested his forehead against hers. "You know, I don't like it when you patrol alone."

"Splitting up means I get done faster, James, and I'm perfectly safe," she said assuredly.

"Lils… Dumbledore thinks there are Death Eater meetings happening here. It isn't safe to split up… even if it means we get more time to do this…" he softly kissed her neck.

"Mmmm, but you were watching me right? I was fine…" she said as she closed her eyes and gave him more access to her neck.

"Don't patrol alone," he said firmly, which contrasted to the gentle kisses he was placing on her neck.

She pulled away and raised an eyebrow. "Well, can you patrol alone?"

James knew he could easily screw up here. He stared her and said, "No. No… I shouldn't either." She continued to look at him, eyebrow still raised. "I won't either."

"Ok, then," she said, kissing him again. She then smiled and said, "I love how protective you are as long as you're not being a stupid guy about it."

He smirked, not really sure how to respond to that. "I love you. Right now it's dangerous and if anything happened to you…"

Her face softened and she said, "Me too."

At first they just looked at each other. Lily wrapped her arms tighter around him. He leaned down and softly kissed her. Between the kiss and the way he had just been looking at her she felt like she might melt. She felt loved and she felt safe.

She pulled back and looked up at him. He looked dazed and confused at that she pulled away. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said quietly as she stroked his cheek. "I'm just, um…" she looked down, suddenly feeling nervous. "I'm… I think I'm ready. I'm ready to…" she felt a bit silly as she tried to find the words and couldn't really look at him. "I'm ready to take the next step." She chanced a glance at him, giving him a knowing look.

He went from confusion to shock. "To… to.." he stammered and she nodded. He ran a hand through her hair and looked her deep in her eyes. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, giving a shy smile.

He smiled back and instantly kissed her. He had been imagining this for years now. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he was with her, and now he couldn't believe this was happening. Even after, as he stared down at her, he thought he would wake up from a dream soon. The picture of her flushed and naked, smiling up at him as she caught her breath was burned in his mind. He leaned down and gently kissed her neck. If he thought he couldn't live without her before, the feeling was only stronger now.

Lily tried to read the look in his eyes. She had known the mechanics of sex, and she had heard from friends not to put much stake in the first time. While she didn't particularly like the fact that he had been with someone else before her, she was a little glad he had some experience. It helped that the way he looked at her made her feel like the only woman in the world. It helped even more that one night they stayed up late talking and he told her that he wished he hadn't, and it had only been one girl. It was Emmy McDowell. They dated off and on in their fourth and fifth years, in between the other girls he dated. They shagged during one of their last 'on' times in his fifth year. The last time they did was the night after OWLs. He broke it off before they went home for the summer. He had thought he had no hope with Lily even though he tried to date her, but after the big row over him teasing Snape after OWLs he felt like it was completely hopeless and he liked the attention Emmy was paying him that night. He knew it wasn't enough, and he didn't really like dating casual or having an on-again off-again relationship anymore.

"Mmm, do we really have to get up tomorrow? I'd rather just stay here like this," she said with a contented smile as she cuddled up next to him.

He smiled as she rested her head on his chest.

She was quite for a moment as she traced little circles on his chest. She was pretty sure she would kick herself over her next question, but it was eating her. "Um, James, how… how did you think it was?" As soon as she found out he had slept with a girl before her, she had worried that she wouldn't be able to measure up. He had so much pent up feelings with her, and she was always a little afraid that one day she just wouldn't meet the pedestal he had her on.

He lifted his head so that he could see her face and he saw the worried look. "Lily, it was brilliant."

She peered up at him, looking cautious. "Really?"

He smiled and said, "Really. Look, you're the most amazing girl I've ever know." He softly kissed her forehead and said, "And everything about you is amazing." He kissed her temple and said, "Your looks, your mind, your temper…Everything." She managed a chuckle and sighed in relief.

"I love you so much…" he whispered.

She smiled into his chest and kissed it before whispering, "I love you, too." He smiled and pulled her closer. "More than anything," she added.

The next few days James had an extra pep in his step. He couldn't stop smiling, and his friends noticed. They weren't quite sure what was going on until a charms class later that week.

James and Lily never changed their seating arrangements in class after they started dating. They still sat at different tables with their own friends. That day in class James kept staring at her like he used to in 5th year. Lily glanced back at him and caught him staring, and they both smiled, blushed, and looked away before stealing glances at each other for the rest of class.

"What's up with you and Lily?" Sirius asked as they walked into their Defense class.

James looked as if he genuinely didn't know what Sirius was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"You two look like you did when you first started dating," Remus said.

"You look like you did when you were obsessed 5th year," Sirius said with a smirk.

James smiled and shrugged. "Guess we're just in a good place."

The boys walked by Lily and her friends' table as they walked to theirs. James stopped, leaned down, whispered something to her, and continued walking. Lily giggled and blushed before promptly ignoring the look on both her friends' and his friends' faces.

Sirius's smirk grew as they sat down.

In that class they practiced their patronuses in order to send messages. Lily was one of the first to get hers strong enough to be used for a specific task, but that wasn't all together surprising considering she was one of the first to produce one the first time they learned it that year. Hers turned out to be a doe. For a while the realization that her patronus was a doe was enough of a happy thought for James to produce a patronus, but today James's patronus was particularly strong, stronger than it had ever been before. He was also one of the first to master it.

"Bloody hell, mate," Sirius said. "What was the memory you used? The Quidditch Cup?"

James smiled and glanced at Lily. She noticed the patronus and the way he was looking at her now and blushed again. He shrugged and watched as the stag walked up to her in particular. "No. Just thinking about Lily."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Merlin, Prongs. I think I'm going to puke."


End file.
